redgeek

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Countdown to Wednesday

Countdown to Wednesday was a fun little documentary, I have no interest in trying to get into comics but I enjoyed learning a little more about the production process, despite the claims on the cover I don't know that it offers much of the way of valuable advice on how to break into the comics industry, interesting viewing if you are a fan of comics.

Monday, March 7, 2011

Back in the saddle again...

Finished up a few figures for my personal Skorne collection. I actually really like how these came out. I didn't go for over the top spectacular on these, but just tried to give them a "good", tabletop look. Couldn't get the Extoller to focus for the life of me. (she is a tiny one)

The sun! IT BURNS!

Eeek. Keep forgetting how bright that thing is.

Feel the burn!

Narrowly missed the bus this morning. I was roughly ten metres from the bus stop when "Vrhoaaaaam" (My best impression of a bus driving off).

Gah. Gonna be one of those days is it?

Luckily, Jennifer's Mum was just pulling out of their driveway so I got a lift with them!

It's the simple things in life that makes me happy.

Even if Jennifer's Mum didn't pick me up, I might have got a lift with Calum.

That is, if an elderly lady did not steal my space...

Yes Calum. Caitlin told me.

Let me elaborate:

I have this coat. It's a white, checkered coat and It's my daily piece of clothing for Winter. So people get to know the coat.

Anyways, Calum and Caitlin were driving to school this morning and Calum sees a white checkered coat, thought it was me, and stopped to ask me if I wanted a lift....

Yeah. It was just a stylish old lady.

Maybe not that stylish.

Haha, the coat isn't even hot. I like it though. And It's cosy. So me and the elderly woman (We'll call her Mabel) can share the same Fashion sense. It's cool!

And Calum? Thank you for being so sweet and stopping for "me". I appreciate it.

Not sure if the elderly woman did....

DOUBLE ENGLISH

We were doing MacBeth. Oh the joys of Shakespeare (!)

Please realise that the English department has "the Dark Knight". THE DARK KNIGHT. We could easily do an essay on that! But noooo...

Anyways.

Mrs Fulton was picking people to read lines. I somehow managed to get away with it today, Caitlin was the first witch, Rhaegan the second and Megan the third, Calum was the attendant for one of the scenes, Billy was MacBeth and Mrs Fulton was lady MacBeth.

Mrs Fulton has one of the most soothing reading voices ever. I swear.

She was teaching us about Euphemisms.

MRS FULTON: If I say "My Daughter's big boned"... *smiles evilly* What am I really saying?

MEGAN: She's fat.

MRS FULTON: She's a heifer, yes.

Your Daughters really beautiful Ms...

What a lovely, glossy coat she has.

MRS FULTON: Or what about "Your essay has potential! But needs more work on it..."? It means it's crap.

Got told today that the Prelim for English doesn't count for appeals. You know, the one that I somehow managed to get an A in?

Gah.

DOUBLE HUMAN BIOLOGY

Even better... NAB!

A NAB which I didn't revise for, as I was under the impression that we would get a study period for it.

A NAB which I could have easily rocked if I got a study period.

A NAB which I didn't get a study period for.

Altogether now! Life's a bitch. Then you die.

So queue forty minutes, random shiz on seminferous tubules and breast milk and a bored spelling session with the calculator (Will spelling BOOBS on the calculator ever lose it's childish appeal?)

I think not.

Anyways.

Milton tried to set up Claire with Aaron... again.

It's quite cute really.

He was asking everyone whether or not they were going to the prom. Most people aren't. Because the prom SUCKS this year.

MILTON: Have you got a boy slash girlfriend?

*sigh* I am NOT a lesbian. I swear.

I would have no shame in admitting it if I was, but I am not.

Went into town after school. Thank god. I love Monday afternoons off. They keep me sane.

Or at least... keep my insanity under control for a while.

Lauren xxx

Sunday, March 6, 2011

It's a beautiful day

Cracking out the U2 songs for today's blog!

I have (just about) nothing, apart from the observation that tumblr has added a new "explore" button. Which, of course, makes me think of one thing and only one thing...

DORA!

The explorer.

Wait a second... she's only six!? How can she possibly be an explorer? Uncool.

Listening to McFly. It's so sad how psyched I am to go see them!

Speaking of seeing bands... The Script.

I might not be getting to see them now!!

*sad face*

Ticketmaster has no records of us buying them, everyone else has their tickets.... it's not looking good!!

Danny! Danny my wee baby boy...

*sigh* The concert is so close, I can basically taste his sexy leather jacket.

Nom. Cow.

Haven't really got anything to declare. Shall work on doing something semi interesting tomorrow to make up for that.

Everyone have a good weekend? What did you all get up to?

Lauren xxx

P.S. Oops. Kind of forgot some big news. My Slovenian friend Zala might be coming to Scotland in the Summer!!

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Dying to be thin.

Here I am, once again, scouring the darkest corners of the internet for people openly discussing their deadly problems.

It's time to talk about pro Ana blogs.

It's heartbreaking stuff.

Most open up with their current weight, and it's not uncommon for some of these girls (or boys) to be around six stone. That's not a healthy weight in the slightest.

I read their words and I would really like to help them. I would like nothing more than to hug them and tell them that their beautiful. I would like to tell them that the voice inside their head is whispering lies, they are not fat. They are beautiful.

The cruel irony of anorexia is the fact that sufferers will do disgusting things to themselves to become what they deem to be 'beautiful', which, in most cases, means dangerously thin. Taking laxatives, making themselves sick, starvation... the list seems to go on and on.

People fail to realise that beauty is not a size. It cannot be measured in pounds and inches, it cannot be measured at all actually. Everyone is beautiful in their own way and everyone perceives beauty differently. It's these subtle differences that give us all our individuality and ensure that the world has at least one person to love us back, for who we are.

Let's face it, the odds of finding one person who loves you with all their heart for who you are, out of seven billion, is pretty high.

But anorexia sufferers often do not see this. Some have their eyes set on someone (usually a complete idiot that likes their girls to be as thin as bread sticks) and will use him as their 'thinspiration'. I am sorry, but if that guy cannot appreciate beauty in its most natural form (i.e. YOU), then that guy is not worth the time nor loss of calories.

It's sickening how accessible sites are that help young girls and boys stick to their anorexic beliefs. The first page I came across, offered a list of suggestions on why it's "better to be skinnier":

"People will remember you as “the beautiful thin one”."

"Bones are clean and pure. Fat is dirty and hangs on your bones like a parasite."

"When you start to get dizzy and weak you’re almost there"

"When you start to get dizzy and weak you're almost there"? You're almost where? In an early grave? Because that's what happens. You stop eating food, and you're body becomes desperate for energy. It wants you to eat, that's why you get hunger pains, dizziness and nausea. It's your body's way of telling you to eat. What happens if you ignore it? Your body uses up your own muscles and organs in desperation, because it has no other source of energy left. Believe what you will, but I find no beauty in starvation, no sex appeal in killing yourself for the 'perfect body'.

"The models that everyone claims are beautiful, the spitting image of perfection, are any of them fat? NO!"

This is what makes me upset. The sufferers are not to blame for their condition. Type "Super models" into google and what do you find? Page after page of skeletons. Perfection is not achievable. Striving for perfection is a dangerous aim.

The thing I find most depressing out of all of this? People actually listen to this blogger.

The site achieved in excess of one million views.

I'm actually at a loss for what to say to that. Genuinely, my heart sank upon viewing that number. To think, people listen to this person, believing that fat is a parasite, that they will be remembered as beautiful just because they are thin, that thin people live longer than fat people...

Newsflash: People are not committing suicide with every mouthful. If anything, you are committing suicide with every purge, skipped meal and laxative.

And you won't be remembered as "beautiful". You will be remembered as the tragic reminder of the dangers of our modern society. I am sorry, but those are the terrible, terrible facts.

Please don't leave me!

Getting really freaked out about how little time we all have left in school.

The 6th years are going to be leaving soon. As are quite a number of the 5th years. And what will happen?

Most of us will lose contact with one another.

Which, hurts quite a lot to think about. That someone that you see almost daily, someone that could be such a huge part of your life could just... vanish. Into the realms of reality. You could easily still see them, in all honesty, there's no excuse, but life and petty excuses just seem to get in the way.

In the space of a year, so much has changed.

A year ago, I wasn't aware of some people's existences.
A year on, I can't imagine a week going by without speaking to them.

A year ago, all my best friends were still at school.
A year on, almost all of them have left.

A year ago, I was ignorant to everyone's problems.
A year on, I can't escape from them.

You see, when you here "365 days", you think that it sounds like a very long time, but in reality, it goes by very quickly, and it can change so much.

I'd like to think that I'd keep in touch with quite a number of the 6th years, but I have this horrible feeling that I'll only keep in touch with one or two at the most. I don't want that to happen, but I have a feeling that is what's going to happen.

The thought of having to say goodbye to them all makes my eyes water. And the thought of having to sit in classes with some of the monsters in fourth year right now? That makes me want to leave school all together.

I am being genuinely honest when I say to you that there is not a single sixth year that I do not like. Actually, there's not a single fifth year that I do not like either. The senior years for 2010/2011 mesh perfectly, but sadly, it is coming to an end.

No more skittles in maths.
No more feathers in Art.
No more talks about drug use in English.
No more pokemon references in Psychology.
No more questions about tentacle rape in Study.
No more lesbian rabbits in Human Biology.

There's only two outcomes for our relationships when we leave school:

We all lose touch, whether or not we planned to keep in contact or not.
We all stay in touch, and hopefully make some friends for life.

I'm hoping for the latter.

Welcome to the Ping Pong show.

NOTE: This post is less to do with this...

And more to do with this....

All shall become clear.

So much has happened today... I'll try to remember it all.

PSYCHOLOGY

Doing some revision.

Scott was INSANELY excited because Pokemon was coming out for the DS today. Gayest name for a pokemon game?

Pokemon leaf green.

HARDCORE!

Yeah. About as hardcore as a clefairy.

...

Don't you think that would be Louie Spence's chosen pokemon?

I think so too.

Came off the bus from Psychology and was talking to Ashleigh.

ME: Ashalilly!

ASHLEIGH: Awww cute! Only my Dad calls me that.

ME: WHO'S YOUR DADDY?!!

Ha. It was 9.40 and I had already gone into inappropriate comment mode.

ENGLISH

Mrs Fulton was being a bit of a legend again, she always is.

Wish I could remember the stuff she was coming out with... It was comedy gold!

MRS FULTON: Fair is foul, and foul is fair... I'm fair, so what does that make me?

CALUM: Foul.

MRS FULTON: Ahh, walked into that one!

Haaaa, bless!

Mystified by Kelly's earrings today... they were insane. One ear was a Pig's head, the other one had it's ass in it.

Kelly and Ashleigh were telling me all about the day they had yesterday, cause they went to watch "Death of a salesman" in the theatre with their English class.

Apparently, some girl was trying to get into the toilet and said:

GIRL: Where's the doorhandle?

GRANT: On the door.

Oooh. Smart asses.

Kelly lost her Subway virginity last night to a six inch meaty Italian. Phwoaaaar.

DOUBLE MATHS

Sophie told me on the way from Psychology to English that she had something for Maths...

And it was...

*pause for effect*

SKITTLES!

Boom. Hear that noise? That's Sophie being awarded Hero Status.

Record that because it's a beautiful noise.

Pure silence in the classroom followed by a major rustle of packaging and the clinking of skittles.

Also, found out today that it's impossible to chew skittles slyly.

She's more of a sly chewer than the four of us.

I shall name her Buttercup.

Sophie came up with a good idea.

SOPHIE: For every question we get right, we should eat a skittle!

CALUM: I wouldn't get any then...

Bless!

We were discussing her interpretive dance routine, she's still struggling for ideas so I told her to look up Louie Spence on "Big Fat Quiz Of The Year" (Sophie, if you're reading, skip to 1.06)

Calum is my blog's little advertisement now, thank you toots! Appreciate the love and belief!

Sophie? Appreciate the skittles.

Dougal? You are too clever. But I appreciate you helping us all out when we're confuffled.

We got onto talking about "Despicable me"... God knows why.

OH! And Mr McDonald's porno comment.

Should have seen their faces.

Pure joy.

Dougal got so bored by the end of the double period. He could probably teach the class the work himself...

WAIT. He teaches a quarter of the class as is...

GET PAID FOR IT DOUGAL!

Danielle came out with my (then) favourite phrase of the day.

Background: There's a cook called Muriel, usually 5th and 6th years can slide into the queue unnoticed and get served but today she wasn't allowing ANYONE to skip.

So when Mr Hughes suggested that we could wait a while before getting out of class early...

DANIELLE: Muriel's on a rampage!

Filed under "Possible band names".

The turd muffins today looked absolutely amazing. The fact that the cooks ran out of them. So what does Naomi do?

NAOMI: Ohhh, they were so good!!

Thanks Naomi. Rub it in!

I was doing my "rap dancing", which is basically this:

Boo yah.

Ashleigh says that I am not allowed to "do the triangle". I quite agree.

But it's still fun.

FREE

Went to Mrs Anderson's room with Ashleigh first, after fighting the incredible urge to go and play Penny can.

Mrs Anderson was confused on how to use her computer, saying that all her files vanished.

Clearly they didn't, she just didn't know that you could scroll sideways.

Shame.

Didn't know what to do after that, so we went downstairs and did Door Duty (you sit on your ass and SOMETIMES you open the door to let someone in).

We played the game of life on Ashleigh's iPhone.

I have NEVER played that game in my life before so imagine my amazement...

ASHLEIGH: You just became a Grandparent!

ME: I don't have any kids!

We took the game SO serious. I ended up as a black woman, married to a Ginger husband called Michael, working as a mechanic and retired to £60,000 pension and living in a Millionaire's mansion.

Ashleigh was a woman called Mary who married Michael's twin brother and had four kids with him by having unprotected sex in their car (because, let's face it, you don't get out of that car when you're playing the game)

After we played that Mr Hughes walked through the door, perky as a fourteen year old cheerleader.

MR HUGHES: You's could be doing some Higher Maths revision!

ASHLEIGH: We could.

MR HUGHES: You should!

ASHLEIGH: We could.

MR HUGHES: You should!

ASHLEIGH: We're not going to.

MR HUGHES: You should if you want to pass the exam. Up to you.

I am going to get an A in the final exam and prove. Him. WRONG.

(NOTE: I'm editing this in January 2012... I got an F in the estimate, an F in the prelim and an F in the final exam. Maybe we should have been revising...)

Looked on the lateness board, they are always good for a laugh.

Best reason for lateness I've ever seen?

"Attacked by mutant dogs"

Legend.

Other good one on the sheet?

"Sick (Anti-pregnant)"

Ohhhh Kincorth Academy.

ART

Mr McDonald made ANOTHER inappropriate comment.

MR MCDONALD: *To Stephanie* Where's "Sexy Signature" in Aberdeen again?

STEPHANIE: There is no shop called "Sexy Signature". Do you mean Ann Summers?

MR MCDONALD: No no!

Someone then made a comment about how Mr McDonald just stares into the shop window.

MR MCDONALD: No! I don't do that, the good thing about the street is that the shops across the road are reflective.

Pornos, staring at reflections of ladies underwear... What next?!

And Lewis wrote a masterpiece...

About Maple syrup and Pancakes.

It sounds much less impressive than it actually is.

So good!

But away home we go and it's time to get ready for Russell Howard!

So Ross came and picked me and Ashleigh up, and we were driving up to Laura's house, having some strange conversations:

ASHLEIGH: I wish I wore a more supportive bra, all these speedbumps...

Speedbump bra? Tell your friends.

ROSS: Who wants speedbumps? Naked women would be much more effective in slowing drivers down.

ME: But what happens if a Nun is driving and she has to avert her eyes... Isn't that dangerous driving?

ASHLEIGH: The nuns can have their own area.

ROSS: How many nuns do you know that drive?! Scrap that. How many Nuns do you know!?

ASHLEIGH: My Mum's afraid of nuns.

Best. Fear. Ever.

Oh. Ross almost drove over two cats. They were just chilling, suicidally in the middle of the road, and Ross was driving towards them. Ever closer.

ME AND ASHLEIGH: Cats! Cats! CATS!!

ROSS: It's okay, they'll move.

They didn't move until they realized that Ross wasn't going to stop for them. Which was about five seconds before they met their doom.

The cat's expression once it realized that Ross was

going to run him over.

Picked up Laura after that, she's such a cutie pie.

Her and Laura began having a conversation about shoes. A seriously in depth conversation about shoes actually.

ME: Hey Ross, you happy that you're driving with three girls now?

ROSS: Three girls are in my car, That's all that matters.

Ross had on his car playlist, and a song came on, which made Laura really happy.

LAURA: NO-ONE change this song!!

That song was Spandau Ballet - Gold.

Queue mad lipsyncing, weird head-movements and a spot of air guitar.

Yeah. Four teenagers in a car, singing along to a song that is older than they are.

It's the future.

I wanted to make up an air band.

Turns out that only Air guitar, air drums, air cello, air piano and air violin work. NEVER try air maracas. Cause you look a bit like you're taking a seizure.

We would name the band... Muriel's on a rampage.

Commence "the triangle"!

Awkward moment of the day?

Accidental boob graze.

Yeah, I was going to point out the window, but instead, I prodded Ashleigh in the boob.

The day I take a ride in Ross' car and someone DOESN'T get sexually assaulted, will be a very, very special day.

Got into the AECC carpark, and after getting ushered by a security guy that looked like he was fourteen, we got to parking the car.

Me and Ashleigh were given the job of getting the parking ticket, was speaking to a security guard.

SECURITY GUARD: Ticket prices are going up to £5 next week, if you're coming back to see Boyzone.

ME: I'll have to tell my Mum.

ASHLEIGH: We actually have a life!

SECURITY GUARD: Cheeky.

Went in to get our seats after that, and went to have a pee, get some badges and a drink (in that order).

Poor guy.

ASHLEIGH: Can I get two IRN BRU's please?

MAN: IRN BRU?

ASHLEIGH: Yes, IRN BRU.

MAN: Ohhh, yes! Sorry!

The wait for Russell to actually come on felt like it took forever.

But it was worth the wait.

RUSSELL: It's nice to be back in Aberdeen! It's always a funny and odd this gig. The last time I did a gig here I asked "What's good to do in Aberdeen?" and a voice went "Rachel."

Reasons I love Aberdonians.

I love how he was slagging off Jordan.

RUSSELL: Woman are beautiful, you don't want to carry around your tits in a wheelbarrow. And why would you want to get Plastic surgery? Have you seen Ann Robinson? She looks like a fox in a wind tunnel.

He talked a lot about sex, and his sex life, and let me tell you, Russell has had some BAD experiences.

RUSSELL: I was having sex with a girl and genuinely, I couldn't get a song out of my head and I swear to god it was "If you're happy and you know it clap your hands".

People start to applaud.

RUSSELL: Don't clap! Don't clap! There'll be younger people thinking "Is that how you do it?"

He suffers from Hayfever too!

RUSSELL: It's so unmanly, hayfever. But I'm thirty, I've got blood shot eyes, tears streaming down my face. "Who did this to you Russell?" Daffodils. There were too many of them Mum.

He sleep walks too.

RUSSELL: You're brain becomes evil. "Pretend your a cat". "I'm asleep" "I know you're asleep, pretend you're a f**king cat, what are you doing with your clothes on Russell, cat's don't wear clothes! I know your over at your Girlfriend's parents house but nothing would cheer them up more than a great big naked miaow!" Good idea brain. Morning! MIAAOW!

His Brother sounds AWESOME too.

Reasons Russell's brother is awesome:

He pretended to work in Abercombie and Fitch, working with his top off (even though he's chubby) and he lasted for forty minutes.
He had sex in a bush (NOTE: A bush as in shrubbery)
He punched someone in the face whilst singing Phil Collins.

Best joke of the night (in my opinion anyway) was his joke on the Ping Pong shows of Thailand.

If you don't know what a Ping Pong show is, it's basically when a woman shoots objects (usually ping pongs) from her vagina.

...

Yes. You read correctly.

Anyways, Russell and his brother went to see one, and after the ping pong lady had finished her act (and hit his brother several times on the head), she went off and a seventy year old woman came out.