Thursday, March 31, 2011

The highlight of my day was when the bus turned left.

I can't tell whether or not I'm being serious about that....

It was raining again this morning...



No. No-one ever treats the 
bad weather with such
enthusiasm here.

But I couldn't find my umberella (I swear it plays hide and seek with me) so I ended up under Sara's scarf with her.

Felt like conjoined twins with burkas on!

Mr Whyte went nuts at Sophie, she totally didn't deserve it.
MR WHYTE: And Jennifer Whitehead will be going to the Cheerleading world championships in Florida...
SOPHIE: WOOOOO!!
MR WHYTE: We didn't ask for the cheerleading now.
SOPHIE: Sorry, I had my pom-poms in my bag.
MR WHYTE: This is exactly the type of behaviour that we don't want in this....
Blah blah blah.


Jeezo dude, she was just having a giggle in the otherwise boring assembly! 
STUDY
Was meant to have a maths study period.


But I had more important fish to fry.


No fish were harmed in the making of this
metaphor.

It was my English folio, which was pretty damn important and NEEDED to be handed in today if Mrs Fulton was to keep her sanity.

AND an essentially important psychology report.

Mr Hughes did not appreciate this.
MR HUGHES: Come on then Lauren, inside.
ME: I can't, I've got to print off my English folio.
MR HUGHES: *angry face* Good show Lauren.
Sarky sarky man....


We found a room so we could print off our essential documents (thank you Mrs Still) but we had to wait outside.
MR HUGHES: You would have done more in my class... Go log on.
ME: Uhhh....
MR HUGHES: Go on, log on!
ASHLEIGH: Tell him to shut up!
ME: I need help.
MR HUGHES: Go see her then.
ME: She's right there *points at Ashleigh*
I had to explain what I needed help with.... it was a disaster, I felt so stressed that I could have vomited on the spot... it wasn't a good morning for me. 
MATHS
Hah. Did two questions! With NO help from Mr Hughes.


Actually, went the whole period without any help from Mr Hughes. Cause he went around the rest of the class but not me, Sophie or Calum.

Good show Mr Hughes... good show.


PSYCHOLOGY

Ooooh god. I think I repressed it all.


I had a NAB, which NO-ONE revised for. So I think I got 4 out of 20....

EEK.



FREE


 Changed to Advanced Higher English and Advanced Higher Art for next years subject choices.


Wooo! 9 proper periods a week? Yes please. 


5 of those being Art? YES.


Handed in my English folio to Mrs Fulton.
MRS FULTON: Ohhhh you are a star.
ME: How's the folios going?
MRS FULTON: *makes a grasping gesture at her chest, looks panicky. It wasn't going well*
ME: BREATHE! ^_^ 
Went for a walk after that. So boring.


I hate having 5th off. 

ART


Kelly wasn't IN art, but her comment directly after it was hilarious.
ME: Why were you not in art?!
KELLY: I was finishing off my English folio, I had to do it or she would have raped my soul!!
C'mon guys, keep it in your pants. Do not rape people's souls.


The fire alarm went off at five past three.

POINTLESS.



Then Caitlin stepped in dog poo.



But how can you stay mad at that?!


So she wiped it on a tree.


What? Crap is natural. Tree's are natural. Goes hand in hand.


Had a pizza with my buds Jennifer and Michelle tonight.


Pizza? GORGEOUS. Had music related banter too.


It rocked.

Lauren xxx 

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

SHAKA!

Oh the confusion of "Biology terms"... More on that later.


I was late to school. Again. Wednesday's aren't my day.


Seriously, haven't you ever had one of those days where you've looked outside, seen that it's all foggy and raining and went "Gaaah." 


Okay... Maybe you didn't articulate quite like that, but inserted a word perhaps a little bit more intellectual than the noises that a 3 month old can make.


"I developed from a corpus luteum...
and I appear to have defecated in my nappy.
MOTHER!"

Be incredibly suspicious of a three month old that can use words like that.

P.E.

Turned up twenty minutes late...

But in my defense, it was the buses fault!

If a timetable says that a bus should come at 22 minutes past 8, then a bus should come at 22 minutes past 8, right!?

No. It came at 35 minutes past 8. 

YOU LIE TIMETABLE.

Sara was very chuffed because she got a tweet from Sean Batty.

Who's Sean Batty?

EVERYONE'S favorite weatherman.

And if he's not your favorite weatherman? Clearly you've never seen his weather forecast.
SARA: Jealous!
ME: Of what?!
SARA: @ tweetin' ya ofc!
ME: Haha, cute! Me and @ are buds, right Sean? ;)
SEAN: Of course! :) 
Sum up my feelings in one word?


Psyched!


So I asked him to make Sara's day and tweet her.
SEAN:  Hi there hope you've had a nice day!
What a cutie.


ART

Well... Art was boring, insert this awesome picture of a cat getting swished by a giant boob.
Is it getting squished?
It looks pretty damn contented for dying.
Then again, it is a boob.
Male cats would probably like that!

Found out that Danny (the boy that stripped naked yesterday) got excluded. UNTIL EXAMS.

That's a bitty far.

DOUBLE ENGLISH

Mrs Fulton was having a wee chat with us about names.
MRS FULTON: I always wanted an exotic name. Then I married a Smith... *rolls eyes* I was Jill Smith. I didn't even have a middle name! Then I married a Fulton and even that isn't really exciting...
ASHLEIGH: I want to name my child Rayne.
MEGAN: What a depressing name.
MRS FULTON: Ohhh but you have to be careful with things like that! My friend is called Hay, and she married a Hay. Fay Hay. *pained expression* Or what about Pixie? If you name your child Pixie, and she turns out to be a 6ft 2in, 17 stone woman, what are you going to do? And Rayne... what's going to happen when she's down at the Post Office when she's 70, collecting her pension? *Old lady voice* "Ooooh, call me Rayne!".
And Mrs Fulton DIDN'T give Calum any type of medicine because she's not allowed to.


And Calum DIDN'T take it from her cause that's naughty...


MRS FULTON: I've got Boots the pharmacy in this bag! I'm barking like an old seal.
Yeaaah, she really didn't sound so good...


But she was hardly like that.


Went to see Mrs Rankin with Megan, so she could figure out what was meant to be written for her drama.


She gave her a highfive. A POWERFUL high five.
MRS RANKIN: Ahhhh... you always hit me so hard!
MEGAN: That's cause I'm a boy.
Wait. WHAT?

DOUBLE BIOLOGY

Learning about "friendly gestures" in Biology.

Me and Abie were confused over what a "shaka" is.

It's the surfer dude gesture. Who knew?

But me and Abie didn't know that so we just extended our arms and shook our upper body.


SHAKA!!


Went through to Mrs Duncan's room... she was being mean!
MRS DUNCAN: There's been a mistake with our phoenix application and there's one person less doing the exam... so we've got to choose one of you not to do the exam.
At this point, Abie was ready to stand up and do a heroic "I will do it over two years... for YOU!" speech.

Like this, minus the fire.
And the leathers.
And the sexily angry face.
So not like that at all really.


Turns out, she was only joking.

WHO JOKES ABOUT THAT?!



Abie wasn't having a great day in this classroom though...
MRS DUNCAN: What's 3 plus 5?
ABIE: 7!
She swears that she thought Mrs Duncan asked "What's 2 plus 5?". You can choose whether you wish to believe that or not. 

She went onto describe recycling water down in England.

MRS DUNCAN: They put a brick in their system to save water.
ABIE: They put a brick in their toilet?! 
Oh Abie.


Lauren xxx 

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Hold on a minute... my Year head saw you naked?

Meet Squirtle, the awkward turtle.

P.S.E.

Is Mrs Anderson ever on time?

No matters. 

Me and Lauren had a lovely chat. So it's cool.

Linzie was saying that her cousin met Katie Waissel and Cher Lloyd in McDonalds. What happened?

As any normal fan would do, she asked her for her autograph.

What was there response?
"No."
"Oh my goooooood... Poor people. Ewww."

"Must... Cover mouth.
May. Get. DISEASE."
I am sorry, I get that if you are a celebrity in a small city, you will be getting a lot of attention. But seriously? No? Put them down bluntly if at all! Most celebrities just manage to grin and bear it!

Besides, GET OVER YOURSELF. You were in the final twelve of 2010's version of X Factor. Big celebrity. HUGE. 

Let's face it. It's hugely likely that they will be forgotten about by this time next year. So they should be nice to their fans while they still have 'em.

BIOLOGY
Abie lost her earring...

Eeeek.
ABIE: Ms, can I go to P.E. five minutes from the end of the period. I've lost one of my earrings.
MRS DUNCAN: Ohh, you're never going to find it if it's in P.E... But you can go, IF you finish your work.
ABIE: *really sad face* Aww... 
DOUBLE ART

I think I'm ill again *coughs*

I blame Kati for this.

RAWR!

No. That Skeleton isn't Kati... who is apparently a cat pedophile.

I was shocked by this too Kitty.

She was looking for skulls to draw (don't ask) so she looked in the box marked skulls (again, don't ask) and found a few Goats head...

So she picked one up, and a pile of dust came out.
KATI: Awww man, I'm going to get rabies now!
And now I feel like... BLEH!

More importantly though, my friend came out of the closest!

D'aaaw. D'AAAAW!

I am so proud of him. Society is much more accepting of differing sexualities now, but teenagers are mean to one another. Even straight people are made fun of for: Going out with the wrong person, going out with an ugly person, going out with a really pretty person, going out with too many people, not going out with enough people... It's like... Oh. My. God. Mind your own business. Do you have to hang with them? NO. So shut up!!

*shakes head*

Anyways, really proud of him, he seems so happy, which makes me happy!

Respect.
DOUBLE MATHS

Calum was off today, bless, he was actually ill this time, not just skivving ;)


And Sophie went over to see Danielle so it was just me and Dougal.


Oh. And some random first year...


He slept on my calculator after banging it.


Not banging it as in...


Yeaaah. 


GIVE ME BACK MY CALCULATOR.


'Tever.


Mrs Murray came in and she was REALLY angry.
MRS MURRAY: Can I see Jinky for a moment.
MR HUGHES: Not just now, he's doing an exam....
MRS MURRAY: I don't care. NOW.
Pffft.

So, as normal teenagers do... we lug in.

MRS MURRAY: *muffled shouting* YOU HELD THE DOOR OPEN FOR HIM!!!
First thing that happened when he came in the room?
EVERYONE: What happened?! 
JINKY: Danny Ross got naked in the 4th year common room. We were in the toilets and he just asked me "Do you think I should get naked?". I said "NO." But he did anyway. So he came out of the toilets totally naked *does impression of Danny standing happily naked, with his hands covering his... underparts*. He forgot that there was CCTV.
Yes. If you didn't guess already, my Year head saw one of the 6th years. Completely naked. Wow.
JINKY: Mrs Murray was wanting me to tell her who it was... but I said that I didn't know. So she screamed "You held the door open for him!" and said that she was going to exclude me if I didn't tell her who it was! 
*shrugs* Just your average day then?


Lauren xxx 

Crash and burn

Well, you may have noticed a glaring lack of updates recently. My old dinosaur of a computer decided it had enough and crashed. Fortunately it has opened up a lot more paint time for me, and I should have quite a few updates once I'm back up and running again. A new computer is on its way so, things should resume in a week or two.

Monday, March 28, 2011

*Girlish scream* It's One Direction!!

Yeaaaaaaaah.


DOUBLE ENGLISH

Well... Shall I tell you a little about my trek first?


Had to get signatures from just about every teacher cause of my choices...


Next year's subject look like:


Advanced Higher Art.
Advanced Higher Biology.
Higher French
(Possibly) Photography.


...


Was I high this morning?


I know Abie was!

Abie is going around, acting twenty times more hyper than usual (and she's usually pretty hyper!)

ME: What did you have for Breakfast this morning!?
ABIE: A SOFTIE!!
ME: ... I think there was something on that softie... 
Mrs Fulton was telling us that she has now got Facebook.


Or, at least, was attempting to get Facebook.
MRS FULTON: My Son was asking me "Have you heard about..." and I realised that everyone knew about what she was up to apart from me, her own Mother! So I said "I'm going to get Facebook" and she replied "I'll just block you!!". She can have it her own way. But what a hassle it was! I had to make up a hotmail account, whatever that is, and then I forgot my password... *rolls eyes*
Bless. 


Linzie and Laura approve of Jay Imlach.


And why wouldn't you?
Awww!

And they like my McFly photos. Job done.

DOUBLE BIOLOGY

Abie is getting really excited about her puppy... which is ADORABLE.

General rule: 
Anything involving puppies is by default adorable.

So she was getting a bit restless...


She made 50 cookies.


Even the Cookie monster would feel sickened
 by that number.

Went to town in the Afternoon with Halle and we saw a giant mob outside of Nando's...

Strange....

So we looked a little closer.

Nothing.

So we went back and looked.

Still nothing.

So we went to Howard's storage world (don't ask) and overheard a conversation saying that the One Direction boys were there!

We walked back and stood in the crowd for a minute and, sure enough, we saw  them, tucked away, right in the back!

Heh. Awesome.

And I swear we walked by Aiden Grimshaw too...

He had awesome hair, a quirky fashion sense and red, geeky glasses? I swear that's him....

And then I bought a cookie.

Not just any cookie, A millie's smarties cookie!

Yeah. Today was awesome.

Lauren xxx

Burke and Hare



I remember being slightly excited when I heard that John Landis was making a return to feature directing with Burke and Hare and then for some reason I forgot all about the movie so I was genuinely shocked to see it had been released on Blu-ray and DVD in the UK, I had to have it and the Blu-ray was ordered.

The movie arrived yesterday and the first chance I got I fired up the home theatre ready for some fun after all it was a John Landis movie featuring an impressive cast - well apart from Isla Fisher but even she wasn't as painful as I usually find her, she was just wooden instead or petrified.

I was only vaguely aware of the real Burke and Hare but I thought there was a lot of potential for dark comedy in this movie and there were flashes of that but for me this movie didn't entirely work and I'm not sure why, maybe it's just that I had unreasonably high expectations for the film based on it's director, I'd only recently re watched An American Werewolf in London and I still consider it to be a fantastic movie.

Now that Landis has returned to film hopefully he will also return to the quality levels he used to achieve, I have to admit it was nice seeing a movie that didn't have to cut to a different angle every 10 seconds, it's nice to actually be able to see what is going on in a movie.

I don't know that I'd recommend buying Burke and Hare but it's certainly worth seeing.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Hello my pretties...

Wow. Could I have seriously chosen a creepier title?


What's that?
Thank you for the nightmares?
You're welcome.

I just wanted to take the time to brag chat about my friends.

For those who do not know this... my friends are awesome.

Halle is competing Tae kwon do at an International level.
Megan can sing, act and paint. Not all at the same time... Actually, she might be able to do them all at the same time. I'll have to ask her.
Kristina gives blood.
Jennifer does... everything. She's won countless medals for Gymnastics, dancing and trampolining. As well as being one of the smartest kids I know.
Ashleigh met Matt Willis in town this week (still jealous about this).
Laura and Ewan are basically perfect at acting, I swear. Hollywood, snap em up.

I could go through my facebook friend list and just name one thing that makes my friend awesome. But that would take way too long.

They are hilarious, some of them are lifesavers, others are legends, all of them are a tiny piece of the mosaic that makes up my life and I love them all to bits and pieces.

Just felt as though I needed to take the time to say that....

Lauren xxx

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Moving Clocks

I am sorry. But under no circumstances, should clocks move.


I'm speaking about them all going forward an hour, but let's be honest... it just isn't natural.


I get an hour less in bed? Why?! That's so uncool. The news of the clocks "springing forward" is along the lines of telling an alcoholic that their favorite distillery just went up in flames.


Or telling Justin Bieber that his name means Basketball in German.


German? What's that? Can I eat it?

In other words, lazy people are thrown into a state of agonizing confusion.

Anyways, have had a fantastically lazy day today.

Just chilled in bed all day if I am being honest.

Mum was being hilarious.

Told her about the McFly poster yesterday where they were all bare naked.
ME: They were really bare naked.
MUM: Willies out and everything?!
ME: NO! Mum, children were there!
MUM: Oh.
ME: No, there was... cuppage.
MUM: Cabbage?! Now I know where the term meat and two veg comes from.
Oh Mum. I love you.


Lauren xxx

Wednesday.

Not much really happened on Wednesday... So I will save you the boredom of reading "Aw... I just did some work" and insert some pictures and ramble instead.

I've been thinking a lot about these guys
for the past couple of days.

Ewww no. Not in that way
you pervert.

I think it was because my friend saw Matt Willis in town.

Yes. Grrr...

Jealousy over meeting Matt? It's there, but it's nowhere near the jealousy I feel when I think that she went to Baskins and Robins without me!!!

Thanks for that Ashleigh. Meet one of my childhood heroes in town and then have an ice cream without me to celebrate!

The other thing that is annoying me is just how close exams are...

I'm not ready at all.

So I think I might go and revise...

Ch'yeah. Good plan.

Lauren xxx



LOST: One voice.

If found. please return to me.


(NOTE: This blog is written on Saturday, for Thursday. Apologies for not being a good blogger this week)


Woke up on Thursday morning and the first thing that hit me was:
"Oh shiz. I feel terrible."
Ever experienced that?

It's like every fiber of your being is vomiting simultaneously.  


And it feels terrible.


So for the whole day, my mind imitated a sick vampire: Bleh.


Oh, and I couldn't speak. At all. I felt like Christian Bale in Batman.


Because of his deep voice...
No?

STUDY

A desperate attempt to finish off my Psychology log book.

A desperate attempt that failed....

MATHS

Did work... for the whole period.

The bland day continues.

DOUBLE PSYCHOLOGY

I passed my prelim! Woo!

5 marks from an A. One mark from a NAB pass... so close.

Everyone was telling me to go home. I sounded really bad at this point.

So I got Sara to sign me out.

No Free period. No Art. Just sleep.

I slept for 12 hours straight.

No Dinner or anything.

Thursday was a bad day.

Lauren xxx

It's Friday, Friday...

Couldn't resist...


This kid and her annoying song is EVERYWHERE


"Yesterday was Thursday, today it is Friday, tomorrow is Saturday and Sunday comes afterwards"


Seriously? Who came up with those lyrics?


Pretty sure it wasn't this guy.

PSYCHOLOGY

Dod was being sneaky today.
DOD: Highlight an important word out of that sentence.
SCOTT: Attachment.
DOD: I'd go for "Types of attachment".
SCOTT: You said word...
DOD: That or phrase.
Awwww Dod is in a doddle.


Our bus driver was awesome.


Like an Aberdonian Hugh Hefner.

For a 70 year old dude, he was a PLAYER!!
BUS DRIVER: *On Intercom* Thank you for flying with Sleazy jet... would anyone like to be dropped off at the shops before we arrive at our destination?
Everyone looks around the bus and ponders...
US: Naaaah. We're good.
BUS DRIVER: Hope you all have a great weekend!
US: Awww! You too!
BUS DRIVER: Oh... I always have a good weekend! Going to see Mamma Mia...
US: Have fun with that...
BUS DRIVER:  44 screaming women?  Don't worry, I will.
Then I got off the bus...
KATI: He reminds me of an older Dod! I think he's Dod's Dad!!
ME: ... How does he remind you of Dod?!
KATI: Because he came from Essex and so did Dod!
ME: ... How do you know Dod comes from Essex?
KATI: Oh, it was just me and him in the classroom and he told me that he came from Essex, so I asked "Do you know anyone from 'The Only Way Is Essex'?" and I was so tempted to ask him if he got vagazzled.
ME: Dod got vagazzled!!!
For those who don't know what the art of vagazzling is... 
Vagazzle: The act of bedazzling your vagina, also known as "Blinging your beaver".
Thank you for that insightful definition Urban Dictionary. 


ENGLISH


Mrs Fulton was off...


It was quite boring.


I drew a hill.


DOUBLE MATHS

We had either:



a) A Unit Three NAB


b) An extension test.


Good thing? Me and Dougal were reunited with Calum and Sophie :)


Bad thing? Dude. It was a test.


I was sitting the NAB, but I think I've failed a few of the outcomes cause (stupidly) I never really revised.


In my defense, I was K/O'd for twelve hours.


And information osmosis doesn't seem to work.


No matter how hard students try.

Don't tell anyone I told you this, but Sophie was totally cheating on her Maths test.
CALUM: Cheat.
SOPHIE: It wasn't cheating! I did the work last night and I was just looking over what I wrote!
CALUM: So if I took my notes book into the exam, that would be fine?
The school was decorated once again for a Birthday. Seriously, those guys are just too sweet.


DOUBLE ART


Watched Zoe squeezing into a corset.


Don't be fooled by its girly nature...
This could easily be one of Jigsaw's 
methods of torture in Saw.

Yesterday night was the best though.

MCFLY!!

Rawr.

Went with Halle and her two TKD buds Kerri and Julie.

The tickets were free. You can't get any better than that.

You know how support bands are usually okay/terrible?

Well. McFly's FIRST support band was actually really good!

"That Sunday Feeling". You should definitely check them out!

Anyways, went to get an IRN BRU (Because we're Scottish) and guess who we saw?

Jay Imlach. Bass guitarist of "That Sunday Feeling."



He is such a sweet guy.
ME: I love your shirt!
JAY: Thank you... you know, you're the first person all night who has said anything about it.
ME: Awww, I love Batman!
JAY: Me too. You guys enjoying yourself so far?
US: *In awe* Yeah!
ME: What about you, did you have fun?
JAY: Yeah, it was really good, but I'm so tired! We were out drinking last night and we had to walk back from the pub to the travel-lodge...
ME: Travel Lodge? Nice to see their letting you live it up!
JAY: I know!
Then he made us fall in love with him forever.
JAY: This is where it gets awkward... I'm not good at conversations.
ME: Neither am I! This is why you should have a drink.
JAY: I really should... I don't have any money though.
ME: Want a bit of mines?
JAY: No! I couldn't do that.  
JULIE: You sure? You can have a bit of mine's if you want.
JAY: No, that's too kind, I can't do that. What is that anyways? IRN BRU? Everyone's drinking it.
Haha, that's us Scots for yah!


So he went off, and he said that he might come and sit beside us during the show. But he didn't. Booo.


He had backstage passes though, so I can't really blame him!


McFly were adorable though.


We were going about shouting "C'mon Busted! I can't wait for Take That! WESTLIIIIIIIIIFE!" just to see people's reactions.


The best one?
ME: *To Linzie* You excited for Busted?!
Her face drops.


McFly were speaking Doric. Ken fit like min, och aye.


Some of the words they were saying I have never heard of in my life!!


They had t-shirt launchers. It was... EPIC.










I know what you are thinking.

McFly. Cheesy.

No. McFly. AWESOME.

They are honestly amazing performers. I recommend seeing them!
Lauren xxx