Saturday, January 26, 2013

Screener, Avid Issues & Friends

Today started with podcasting.. I have a ton of podcasts that I need to get edited and out. I have fallen a bit behind due to this new job and just trying to rearrange my free time. So I was up early 7am. I swore I wasn't going to watch any TV or jump on LOTRO until I got some of these podcasts done. I have to finish a MASH 4077 podcast, Confessions of a Fanboy podcast, Alien Nation podcast, My Gimpy Life podcast and a Knights of the Guild podcast.

I started with my MASH 4077 podcast as that podcast has been released on time since we started almost two years ago. My others can vary though I do try and release on a regular schedule. As I am an avid podcast listener as well and enjoy when my podcasts come out on a regular bases.

I worked on MASH for about two hours and then had to get dressed and head over to UPS to pick up a package that I had to sign for so it couldn't be left at my house. The closest distribution to my place is in Sylmar, which is about 40 miles south. So I made the trek down there. I didn't have a clue what was sent to me. When I got there an editor friend of mine was there as well and said "Oh you're here for the Life of Pi screener as well" And sure enough I opened the package and there it was. I've never gotten a screener so late in the award season. I mean the PGA Awards (which I vote for) were going to happen the next day and I had already voted a month prior. Now I'm not complaining about getting the screener as this was one of those movies that I was hoping to see. It's just unfortunate that it came so late.

Before I left for UPS I started to upload the MASH episode that I needed for the podcast I was working on. It can take a few hours to upload so I figured by the time I was home the upload should be done. Well when I got home I noticed a error on my screen. The upload didn't work and I had to start over again. Now when I upload I can't do anything else on the computer so I started the upload again and had a few hours to kill while it uploaded. Though I swore I wouldn't watch TV there really wasn't anything else I could do so I popped on the TV and watched some recorded shows off my DVR.

Two hours later the upload finishes and guess what.. my Avid crashes and I lose everything.. again. I normally upload video and audio of the episodes though I only use the audio.. I like having a visual reference. Well screw that I stripped away the video and started to upload only the audio. Now this only takes about 15 minutes which is much better then 2 hours.

I continue my work on the MASH podcast.. it's now 3pm and I have dinner plans at 5 which means I have to leave my house at 4. For the next hour my avid gave me nothing but problems. It was a very slow process and by the time 4 came around I was about 2/3'ds of the way done. So much for flying through these podcasts.

I went over to my friends John and Moises house for dinner. Joining them were the usual bunch. Tom and Ervin, Bruce, Martin and of course me. They've had this dinner party for years. I don't get to see these guys as much as I use to and I miss that. I don't know why we don't hang out more but I need to make a bigger effort in seeing these guys more. It was a great night of friends, laughs and great food. I hope to see these guys again soon.

I got home a little after 10pm and was determined to get at least one podcast edited today. So I spent the next 2 hours finishing up my MASH 4077 podcast.

Though I had big plans today for podcasting.. with all the techy issues I only mange to get one done. Oh well I guess it's better then nothing.

Friday, January 25, 2013

The Next Day

Well it's the next day after my fun meeting yesterday and I'm doing better. The person whom blindsided me yesterday was not in the office so it was a nice quiet day here at work. Everything went smooth and I told myself whatever happens.. happens.

When I got home I jumped on LOTRO with my buddy Chris and played the rest of the night. It truly is a great stress reliever and since I'm going to be busy all weekend I won't have a chance to jump on. It's just what I needed.

An admission


I feel like a terrible friend and I can't deal with that thought. Some people can acknowledge that they are a bad friend, and carry on with their lives, but I am not one of those people. 

Some of my dearest friends are going through terrible times right now. Whether this is due to mental health issues or heartbreaking circumstances... it doesn't matter. All I know is that my friends are hurting, and that I feel helpless to do anything about it.

So... This post is for you. For my friends that need to hear that there's someone out there that cares about them, and for the strangers that need to know that someone in the world still cares. This one is for you.

However bad you're feeling right now, I want you to acknowledge that this pain won't last forever. That life is like an airport, and this pain is just a terminal that you are stuck at for the present moment, before you fly far away, to greener pastures. Life gives you challenges, it poses you with battles that sometimes you feel are impossible to win, but believe me when I say that there is nothing that you can't handle. You can overcome and achieve anything that you want, but you need to be aware that you don't have to do it alone. 

If you ever need help, or advice, I am always here. No judgement, no fear. All I want to do is help you, and if you feel as though I can, then please, just come to me and tell me what's wrong. Even if it is only to vent. Even if it is only to cry. Tell me what you need, and I'll try to help in anyway that I can. Sometimes, people just need a shoulder to cry on, and there's no reason to be ashamed of that. Your soul knows how to fix itself, but your brain keeps getting in the way of its recovery. People have different ways of mourning. People have different experiences with mental health issues. No one way is correct, just as no one way is incorrect. Don't let anyone convince you that you need to do something a certain way to regain normality in your life. It doesn't work like that. 

Once you experience something overwhelmingly good or bad, your life is changed in some shape or form... Forever. And that's not necessarily a bad thing. Change is good. Evolution is necessary. Learn from your mistakes, armed with the knowledge that life can and will get better, and that your loved ones are willing to prove this to you whenever you feel as though this will never be the case.

I suppose I'll end this with an apology. To all the friends that I have let down in life... To all the people who have sought my help only to be ignored, and to all the people that I have not been able to help at all... I am truly sorry. The last thing that I ever wanted to do was hurt you, or watch you carry on in pain. 

I promise to do better. You deserve that much, at least.

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Work Woes

Well everything was going great at work when suddenly WHAM!!!! I was blindsided. I won't go into details here but needless to say my future here on this show is in the balance. I'm gonna to do this job as best as I possibly can.  I'm not a quitter, I've only ever quit one job in my entire career. And honestly I don't care if I am let go from this gig.

This brings up how I have been feeling the past three or so years. I'm tired of working in the entertainment industry. There is to much stress and BS and the older I get the more it gets on my nerves. I would get out of it in a heartbeat but it's all I know. I've been in the industry for 18 years and it's taken it's toll. There isn't another job I could jump right into and still make the same amount of money. Lucky for me money isn't everything. I just need a job that will cover my bills. I think once I sell the house and not have a huge mortgage to think about I'll reassess my life and see what I want to be doing for the next 40 years of my life.

Life is funny.. it takes so many twists and turns..

So... You talk to people online?

     More years ago that I would care to admit I first mentioned an online friend to my family. It was a simple conversation and at the time it never phased me that anyone would care that the viewpoint I was sharing came from someone I met online. Boy was I wrong, you would have thought that I told them I was dating a serial rapist, or was going to be kidnapped in the night by a mob of men who stalked the internet for young naive women. I am not saying there aren't people out there who are manipulative and do horrible things to people because there are but they are not the norm. I have met many wonderful caring lifelong friends who I have never seen face to face. And some I have never even heard their voice. I was never a mIRC user, but I did have an account with Collegeclub.com. For those that don't know, in the late 1990s and early 2000s Collegeclub was a social website for college students. It had email, a chat server, forums, etc. This is where I was introduced to chat, and online relationships. Most of us also kept in touch with other forms of instant messaging as. With the mask of the internet I was able to share some of my teenage angst and to care for others who were going through rough times in life. We also shared joy, it was a great time. However, I was made to feel by those in "real life" that these relationships were not as valuable as "real" ones. So I started hiding those relationships more. This is probably when I first started separating out the different parts of my life. My online friends and life vs my real world life. If I never mentioned my online friendships I wouldn't have to justify them.
     I know I am not the only person to have gone through this, but it now annoys the hell out of me. It is so easy to judge something that they have never experienced. I love The Guild webseries, in the first episode when Codex is speaking to her therapist. Codex has a great line when the therapist asks if she had met them face to face. Codex says: "I hear them it's good enough for the blind". Truly it is enough. Words on a screen or a voice through a speaker is as good as time spent in a room together. In my experience some people are more authentic online when they feel like they can be themselves instead of fitting whatever role they think they have to fill. Society can be so harsh when we don't fit into the defined box. This is a battle we all face, even those people we perceive to have it all together and be completely comfortable have insecurities. Because of my insecurities I feel it necessary to keep parts of me hidden from the rest of the world. I guess it comes down to how much I care what they think. If I am confident in who I am and who my friends are it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of my friendship. It just helps to feel supported and understood. I know I am getting there, eventually I will buy a Alliance hoodie and wear it proudly... well maybe. :). What about you? Do you find it hard to share parts of your life with others? Let me know. Leave comments or follow me on twitter @jaygurrl.
     
      

King of the jungle!

Dean was recreating the classics today.

Today started off badly, and got progressively better, which is much preferred to the usual start the day off well, and watch it become progressively worse.

The only good thing about the morning was the weather. This picture really, really doesn't do any justice to Aberdeen in the snow.

Basically, the sun was just beginning to rise and everything was covered in a wee 'sieving' of snow.

Sieving was a snow related term that my Mum coined, after having this conversation:
MUM: How's the weather at home?
ME: *looking out the window* It's like... you know when you bake a cake? And you dust a little icing sugar, or flour on top of it, to make it look nice? That's what it looks like here.  
MUM: Oooh, a sieving.  

College has been unproductive all week, so I went in to class today blaring the 'Rocky' theme-tune, ready to knock the crap out of the huge pile of work that is mounting up in relation to the production of my short film...

First of all, as you can probably guess... little work was completed.

Second? I lied about the 'Rocky' theme-tune. I went into class listening to Fun.

Maybe that's where I was going wrong? Who knows.

Anyway... the day slowly became less and less bearable as the morning stretched on. Most of this anger, hurt and confusion was caused by the timetables for next block.

Basically, the timetables change on Monday. They only went on blackboard on Monday. They were altered today.

On Monday, we were all happy to see that we have two full days at college, and three days free, so we can come in to see lecturers, work on our production or go out to actually film our creative projects.

Now?

We're in Monday 9am to 11am.
We're in Tuesday 9am to 5pm
We're in Thursday 1.30pm to 5pm.

And it's genuinely pathetic. The two full days were perfect. I wouldn't have minded three full days either, if we're being honest. But don't waste people's time by calling them in for two hours. Two hours? Are you actually kidding me.

I'm not the only one angered by this decision.

Dougal wrote a strongly worded, two paged complaint about the changes.

Jim can't learn how to become a dot com picker now.

It's all just a bit of a disaster.

Even worse? We don't have Ryan or Simon as lecturers next block. 

Let's just say, we're dreading next block.

Headed to the coffeehouse with Dougal and Sara in the afternoon though, which quickly cheered me up. We managed to score a window seat...

Not wanting to brag or anything, but they're never available, and we just strolled in and took over. 
ME: This is the greatest moment of my life.
DOUGAL: You've lived a very sheltered life, haven't you? 
Yes. 
You're talking to the girl who counts "own a bean bag" 
as one of her major aims in life. Are you really
that surprised by this fact?

Just seeing Sara again cheered me right up, love that girl. The fact that it was another LSD coffee trip only boosted my mood even further. 

Sara had just went to Lush before meeting us, so she whapped out her happy hippy gel to let me smell it.

It was then I noticed the little made by sticker on it:

 
ME: Oh my God, Snoop Dogg made this for you.

She was also telling us about her problems with people who shouldn't be emailing her, emailing her. 

Sara opens one to show us and "INCREASE YOUR LIBIDO!" pops up.
SARA: They... they don't usually say that.
Dougal grabs the iPhone and looks at the email. Then he only goes and bloody clicks on the photo, which turns out to be a link:
ME: What did you click that for?!
Poor Sara sprays her mocha in fright. 

I don't know why I found this so hilarious, but I legitimately cried with laughter. I didn't even know that you could do that in real life. Comedy shows have taken this action for granted man.

Went back to class in the afternoon and Ryan had prepared a movie/sound revision quiz for us, bless him.

Jim and Dean got him a few presents, and a card (for passing his driving test, even though he hasn't just passed his driving test).

They also gave him three DVDs...
  • A tai chi DVD
  • The third film in the Barrytown trilogy, 'The Van'
  • And (my favourite) a Mr Motivator DVD
Dougal, Jim and I were in one team, and Dean, Przemek and Isabella were in another.
RYAN: What is the circle of confusion?
DOUGAL: Is that what the people who come up with our timetables identify themselves as?  

The best round was undoubtedly the quotes round however, where teams had to finish off the quote provided and tell Ryan which movie they came from:
RYAN: Okay... Dean's team... "E.T..."
DEAN: "Phone home!"
RYAN: And what movie did it come from?
*Dean's face goes completely blank for a second*
JIM: He looks like when you go to Starbucks and they ask you for your name, and you just take a blank.
DEAN: E.T.!
But the best was yet to come...
RYAN: "I'm king of..."
DEAN: "The jungle!" 
*Everyone starts killing themselves laughing*
DEAN: No! No! The world!
RYAN: Yes! What movie did it come from?
DEAN: 'Spiderman'! 
I literally can't remember anything after that... I think I might have passed out from laughing so hard.

It's always interesting to see just how dramatically your day can turn around. Life keeps you on your toes like that!

Lauren xxx 

My Lord of the Rings Online MMO Characters

So since I upgraded my LOTRO membership to VIP for the year I get an additional four characters for a total of five. So earlier this week I took the time to create three more characters. I now have four, one for each race.

***************************

My primary character is my Hobbit. Happiest when enjoying a simple life with six square meals a day, hobbits are solid and dependable when called to action.

His name is Drialdo: his nationality is Harfoot, The Harfoots are the most prodigious hole-dwellers and were the first to cross west into Eriador. They generally tend to be browner of skin than the other kindreds, as well as smaller and shorter.

He is a Guardian:  Guardians wear heavy armour and have many defensive skills that allow them to survive battles against the most fearsome foes. Guardians also have skills that draw foes' attention away from their allies and to themselves. In fellowships, a Guardian forces enemies to attack himself, so his more fragile allies will not be harmed by the foes.

The Guardians are the stout protectors of the weak and defenders of those in need, loyal companions to the end. True Guardians stand to the forefront of battle, shielding their allies from enemy assaults.

This class was inspired by the hobbit Samwise Gamgee, whose loyalty to Frodo Baggins knew no bounds.

His skill sets are those of an Explorer, which means he is a Tailor, Prospector and Forester

***************************

My second character I made was my Elf: Long ago, the Elves welcomed the younger races of Middle-earth and allied with them when the need was great, but centuries of war, betrayal, and hardship have made them fiercely protective of their seclusion.

His name is Gillthilion, his nationality is Lórien, You come from Lothlórien, the fabled golden woods whose Elves dwell high in the mallorn-trees and are ruled by Celeborn, wisest of the Eldar of Middle-earth, and the Lady Galadriel.

He is a Lore-Master: Lore-masters are the masters of crowd-control, skills that trap foes and keep them from fighting. They may call on animal companions to fight by their side and even call on elemental forces to damage their foes. In fellowships, a Lore-master concentrates on supporting his allies, primarily by hindering the foe's ability to deal damage.

Lore-masters are seekers of knowledge and the guardians of wisdom. Through study of bygone Ages, they learn ancient secrets that allow them to hinder foes, as well as protect against the dark powers of the Enemy. They have many skills that invoke the natural world of Middle-earth, but it is draining on the will, thus costing them Morale to fuel some of these powerful skills.

This class was inspired by Elrond Halfelven, Elf-lord and Master of Rivendell.

His skill sets are those of a Historian, which means he is a Scholar, Farmer and Weaponsmith

***************************

Third Character I made was my Dwarf: Dwellers of stone and miners of metal, the dwarves are a doughty folk, resistant to the corruption of the Enemy -- but not to greed.

His name is Arikk, his nationality is The Lonely Mountains, You hail from Erebor, the Lonely Mountain, where Smaug the Golden made his lair until Thorin Oakenshield reclaimed it for his people. There does Dáin Ironfoot now rule as King under the Mountain.

He is a Champion: Champions wade into battle swinging their weapons in all directions, dealing significant damage to many foes at once. With each strike their Fervour grows, allowing them to use even more potent skills. Special stances may be used to greatly increase damage dealt at the cost of defence or enhance defence at the cost of damage. In fellowships, a Champion concentrates on engaging as many foes as possible. Unrelenting in battle, Champions are the consummate warriors.

A Champion cares not for his own well-being, but relies on his strength and prowess to slay the Enemy before they can bring more destruction to Middle-earth.

This class is inspired by Gimli son of Glóin, whose skill in arms matched the bow-skills of Legolas.

His skill sets are those of a Armourer, which means he is a Prospector, Metalsmith and Tailor

 ***************************

Fourth Character I made was my Man (well Woman): Not as long-lived as Elves, sturdy as dwarves, or resilient as hobbits, Men are renowned for their courage and resourcefulness.

Her name is Kiwyn, her nationality is Rohan, You are one of the Horse-lords of the Riddermark, the realm granted to Eorl the Young by Cirion, Steward of Gondor, currently ruled by Théoden, son of Thengel.

She is a Captain: Captains are armoured melee fighters and masters of buffing; skills that enhance allies. They may summon a Herald companion to fight by their side, ensuring they always have an ally to buff. They can also Mark foes, giving benefits to all who attack them. In fellowships, a Captain supports his allies with healing and buffs, while still dealing respectable damage.

The Captains of Middle-earth hold the future in their hands. By their own strength of arms and the inspiration they instill in others, they must lead the Free Peoples to victory.

This class is inspired by Eärnur, last King of Gondor, who was revered both as a captain skilled in arms and as a lore-master.

Her skill sets are those of an Armsmen, which means she is a Weaponsmith, Prospector and Woodworker.