Thursday, March 17, 2011

Wait... who did WHAT in the Management corridor?

Keep reading, all will become clear...

SPOILER: Kincorth pupils are nutcases.


Went for a mid-morning run round the Gramps tod....

Yeah. That was a lie. We got changed and went up to P.E. to do nothing again.

We were, however, lying to eachother.

What can I say? I wanted to see if Disney
lied to us all about this too...

What else did they lie to us about? Well...

 Ariel is a mermaid (i.e. Someone who lives
under water. Constantly) and her hair still looks
 totally kick ass.

You are going to find a Prince.
You are going to marry a Prince.
You are going to live happily ever after with this Prince.
This Prince will also have perfect hair.

Apple's are poisonous.
Yes Disney, I am blaming YOU for Child Obesity.

Anyway, lying to eachother:
KELLY: Okay, I am going to tell you two stories, one is true and one is a lie. You have to guess which is which.
KELLY: I fell through a glass table as a little kid or I was fostered?
EVERYONE said that she fell through a glass table, but, truthfully, she was fostered.
ME: Either: I fell into the harbor as a little kid, or I had MAJOR problems trying to eat chewing gum as a little kid.
MEGAN: What do you mean, problems?
ME: I couldn't chew it, I always swallowed it.
They laughed at the harbor story.

They felt sympathetic when I told them that the story was based on the experiences of a blind dog.

Thanks for that guys.

Went onto having a HUGE conversation about Christianity, God, Jesus, Mary, Religion and Obama.

Obama's not relevant?
Obama is ALWAYS relevant.

It was because Megan took in a bible, and she began reading it in P.E.

I can't remember why she brought it into P.E., although I know she took the bible in to check a psalm for a poem.

Anyways, long story short, we began to pick apart the religious beliefs of millions.

Probably best to skip to art if you are religious/easily offended/A chimpanzee.

There were several things that question the existence of God.
ME: If Dinosaurs existed, and God created all life, then why were there no dinosaurs in the bible?
KELLY: Precisely! The dinosaurs didn't pray to God so he couldn't exist!!
I don't think Dinosaurs could speak though...
CLAIRE: And how did Mary get pregnant if God wasn't there?
LINZIE: Maybe he date-raped her.
My mouth kinda hit the floor at that one, and I'm not even religious. 
KELLY: Movies aren't real, therefore God isn't real!
Wait.... what?!

I am open-minded. That is my religious status. I'm not an atheist because I'm open to being proved wrong about religions. I'm not a Christian because I do not approve of it's reasons for being damned eternally to hell...

Suicidal? God doesn't care about your petty problems. Go cry to the devil.
Slut? Man-whore? Hope you like it hot.
Are you a magician? Disappear down to hell.
So you are a bitch? I hear that Satan loves a good gossip.
Fat? Heaven can't take you. You might fall through the clouds! Wouldn't want that.

Megan says that even listening to screamo is enough to be sent to hell for...

I believe, that if you are a good person, you should get to heaven. And, I think that if you have sinned, and you are truly sorry for that, you should be forgiven. Seen as God is meant to be "All forgiving".

Religious people are supposed to set an enlightened example for the rest of us, if not copying their beliefs, we could at least copy their behaviour, making the world a better place.

But no. Instead, we had religious hate rally's against gay people. It is their life choice. How do you justify telling someone that their sexuality is wrong? What if soul mates exist, one person for everyone, and only one. The boy would have to choose between being alone for the rest of his life or "falling in love" with a girl... This boy is stealing the girl away from her soulmate and the girl is keeping the boy's true soulmate away from him. That's four people affected by one person's decisions.

That's assuming that there is such a thing as soul mates. I'll leave that up to you to decide, it was just a knowledge nugget for you to consider.

Moving on...


Zoe came back from feeling sick.

So, she was sitting there, with cello-tape, and an apple.

Can you guess what happened?


Mr McDonald wasn't impressed by Zoe's magic.
MR MCDONALD: Did you go see a Doctor when you were ill? Because you need to get your head examined.

Came out of Art and it was pandemonium.

People were screaming and making sick noises.
ALISON: Someone was sick on the stairs!! And then, someone fell in it!!
ME: Ewwwww...
I've found out since then a few things:
a) It was a first year girl who was sick.
b) She cried (Bless her!)
c) She ran from third floor to first floor, that's quite an achievement if you think you're going to be sick!
d) Mrs Gray was clinging onto Linzie and looked like she was going to be sick too.
e) The Janitor took his roll of cleaning it up seriously...
JANITOR: Watch!! ... It's dangerous.
Just when you think that the happenings of my school couldn't get any weirder/more disgusting...
LEWIS: Someone took a sh*t in the management corridor!! 
Yes. Either someone or something has taken a dump, outside Mrs Murray's office.



Our class has, once again, proved our maturity.
MRS FULTON: *reading "MacBeth"* Give us a light there, ho!
CLASS: Hehe ^_^ 
We got half way down the next page before Mrs Fulton interrupted us.
MRS FULTON: Not that kind of ho!
Billy even laughed because "to't" sounds like "toot".

Started reading again, and we were interrupted by two third years, armed with a video camera.
BOY: Mrs Fulton, would you like to take part in our "Amarillo" DVD?
Not sure what that is? Educate yourself.

Well... the school is (apparantly) doing this with the teachers.

Which will be hilarious.

Mrs Fulton, being a good sport, went out to do it, Billy in tow.

She closed the door so we couldn't watch her do it (meanie!) but we could hear the muffled "Is this the way to Amarillo?" playing through the wall.

I can't wait to see that DVD.


First and foremost, Dr Robertson became the enemy of just about every little girl in the country...

Yes. He commented on the Bieber.
DR ROBERTSON: That Justin... Bieber? Justin Bieber. He's ummm... yeah. You know...
If you are not fluent in muttering, that means that my Biology teacher just called Bieber gay.
I know Whoopi. I know.

And in the Mrs Duncan's class, we killed a sheep.

It was a cartoon sheep guys!
No worries!

Lauren xxx