Friday, January 18, 2013

Struggling with my Weight

So if you are a regular reader of my blog you know I have been struggling with my weight the past... well my entire life. I've never been a thin person. I'm short 5'3" and have a stocky built. Most of high school I kept my weight in check at around 145/150. In collage it went up to 165/175 and then in my 30's to 40's and after I meet Harry it ballooned to a whopping 219 (which is the heaviest I have ever been).

The past few years I have really tried to lose weight. I started working out and tried my best to eat better. But it's extremely hard after 40 years of doing something the same way. I love working out, I love the feeling it gives me knowing that I'm doing something good for my body. So when I start a new workout, it's great for about 3 months, then I'll get sick and not do it for a week or two and when I'm better I just can't find the motivation to start back up. Then six or seven months down the road I'll do it again and once again it's great until I'm sick and stop again. This goes on and on...

When I do workout I do manage to lose weight. For the past two years I have struggled to get below 200. Last year my goal was to drop from 217 to under 200 and I did it. For one entire day I was 199. But since then I have gone back and forth. It's not as bad as 219 but I fluctuate between 201 and 208. I just can't get below the 200 mark. I'm currently 206 and I hate it. I know as I get older this extra weight is not good for my body. I'm in my 40's and that starting to get in the range of heart attacks and strokes due to being overweight. I'm on cholesterol and high blood pressure medicine, both of which I could probably stop taking it if I lost the weigh, my weight keeps me from getting a good night sleep.

I know all this but still I can't seem to make it work... why is it so hard, is it going to take me having a heart attack or stroke to make me take this seriously? I hope not. I have no excuse. I have a $1000 gym set up in my garage, all I have to do is get my butt out there three to four times a week. And I know working out won't solve everything if I can't eat better. I'm addicted to fast food, I have been my entire life. I like very few vegetables but I am trying to eat more. I need to start off small and cut back on fast food and hopefully with in time I can limit it to once or twice a week. I'll never be skinny. I'll never been what the medical institute sees as my ideal weight, between 107 to 135. I've never been that skinny even as a kid. I'll be happy with 150 but will settle with 160. That means I have to lose over 40 pounds... I just don't know where to start.