Thursday, June 14, 2012

Good job I brought my eraser...

When you begin to chat up a photo-booth, you know you've lost the plot.

Hello there sexy, oh my,
what sharp corners you have...

Although, as many as you now realise, I've never found the plot. Actually, much like the 'Twilight' novels, I never had a plot in the first place.

I've never had a sparkly boyfriend or a male friend that turns into a werewolf either but hey, let's not go overboard on this whole simile business.

Back to the booth later...

It was that time again... the crew was on their semi-regular night out. 

Conflicting schedules, for the most part, is why they are not regular. 

Anyway, we decided that we were going to go bowling.

So I got dropped off at the beach, and I whapped oot my phone.

I am not a normal teenager. I honestly can't remember the last time I took my phone, fully charged and topped up, out of the house, let alone the last time I texted someone.


So when I whapped oot the phone... the reaction was... extrodinary?
KRISTINA: Oh my God, Lauren's got her phone!
THE CREW: *Gasps*
 SARA: Topped up?
ME: Yep.
ABIE: Battery charged?
ME: Yep.
Kelly, Kristina and Abie claw for my number whilst I laughed at their reaction.
ABIE: We're away for Jimmy Chungs... We'll phone you when we're finished?
SARA: NO! We'll phone Lauren!
ABIE: Every fifteen minutes! "Hello Lauren, we've just sat down!". "Hi Lauren, we've just got our food." Hey Lauren.... it's jelly-time.". Lauren will be like "Urgh... this is why I don't take my phone!"
ME: Naah, it makes me feel loved!
ABIE:  We'll phone you then, okay?
ME: Oh, my phone isn't on yet...
EVERYONE: *Groans* 
Seriously, a normal teenager I ain't.

I turned on my phone as Kristina, Kelly and I (we had already eaten and didn't need to go to Jimmy Chungs) walked away before hearing someone shout:
SARA: YOU FAIL! *holds up phone*
I look at my phone... I had already missed a call...

Again, I really am a terrible teenager. 

Word of advice:

When you have time to kill, do not spend it in Codonas.

Especially when you have change.

Another thing I learned yesterday is that if you take one of these little guys:

And put it in front of Kelly in a glass box, with nothing but a mechanical claw to get it out, she will spend all of her change on trying to free it, before basically sobbing when she admits defeat.

And when Kristina spies one of these, caught in the same transparent trap:

She will desperately attempt to win it.

She tried countless times, getting closer and closer with each attempt, before the claw began to playfully nip its ass.

I swear, she was close to punching a hole through the machine at one point... this is why those machines should be banned.

We retreated from the grabber machines by climbing over some random pipe thing, as Kristina climbed over, we heard:
RANDOM MACHINE: Oooooh, saucy!
KRISTINA: Thank you! 
From one talking machine to the next, all three of us ended up piling into this tiny wee booth and ended up staying there for twenty minutes, talking to 'Leonardo'.

Basically, the photo-booth took your photo and used 'state of the art technology' to convert it into a drawing before your eyes. This man impersonated famous artists such as Leonardo Da Vinci and 'Rye-bread' ("I don't think that's his name Kelly...") as he 'drew' you.

We watched that damn introduction on what to expect when you put £3 into the machine countless times, laughing at Leonardo's mistakes:
LEONARDO: Oops, didn't mean for that to happen... good job I brought my eraser!
ME: *flirty* Oh, Leonardo!
Instead of trusting that goof to draw us, we took matters into our own hands and took our own photos:

After saying farewell to Leonardo and co, we went for a little wonder outside. Noticing a giraffe (Sara's favourite animal), I asked Kristina to pose on it.

Let's call her Jill the Giraffe.

Not wanting to feel left out, Kelly jumped on a duck.

This photo makes me laugh because
Kelly's legs look so awkward in it

When we met up with the rest of them to go bowling, I showed Sara the photo.

By the sound she made upon viewing it, I'm supposing that she liked what she saw!

We split up into two teams: girls (Sara, Kelly, Abie and I) and the boys plus Kristina (Lewis, Andrew, Kyle and Kristina). Lewis, Kyle and Kristina ended up getting drinks to sip on whilst the rest of us had a casual bowl.
ABIE: We can't have the bumpers up... *glances at me*
ME: *Seeing where this was going* No! Don't you dare!
Abie always brings up the time when I used to slide on my knees to give my shots extra power. I didn't expect to turn into Hercules and split the bumper in two with one of these so called 'power-shots'. I quickly learned how to bowl normally after the guy came out and fixed the bumper... with duct tape.

Oh the shame.

We had a lovely little catch-up, conversations sounding a little bit like this:
KRISTINA: *To Lewis* There's a guy at my work that looks like a bit like you!
LEWIS: Oh, is he good looking?
LEWIS: ... 
LEWIS: ... 
KRISTINA: Oh look, it's my turn to bowl.
She comes back after her shot: 
KRISTINA: I suppose... he's not bad on the eye! 
LEWIS: ... *sticks middle finger up*
KRISTINA: What? That's not bad!

As well as:
ME: *Watching Abie and Kristina attempting to bowl through their legs* Chloe managed to get a strike between her legs once... *realises what I'm saying* and that isn't some sort of sexual euphemism.
After a few throws with nothing but gutter balls to show for it, Abie began to get desperate. She hauled the bowling ramp designed for kids and the disabled...
i.e. This thing

...into the middle of the lane and plopped her ball on top of it.
ABIE: Is it straight?
SARA: Yeah.
She rolled the ball... we waited with baited breath.

She managed to roll it right into the gutter. 

She rolled it into the gutter.

I don't think you guys appreciate how unlikely that is, so I'm going to name a few things that are more likely to happen than rolling a ball into the gutter whilst using a bowling ramp:

The grand national gets bored of using horses to 
race and instead jokey's are expected to
ride on dolphins.

A chicken becomes CEO...
of KFC.
David Cameron becomes a sex icon.

All highly improbable, I'm sure you'll agree. But Abie missing the pins beats them all.

I helped her line up the next shot. There was no way I was letting her roll another gutter ball.

I took a  minute or two to ensure it was okay, rolled a tester ball, catching it before it rolled down the lane and even held the ramp for her.
ME: *Holding on tight* Go!
Abie rolls the ball... she hits down seven or eight pins.

We both jump around as if she just won a bowling tournament for Scotland. 
 ME: *To Sara* They grow up so fast.

More photo taking after that, it takes too long to upload them, so I'll post my favourite one of the bunch:

Two of my best buds, love 'em!

Had a lovely walk down the beach with Kristina whilst Sara and Kelly took that photo. There was no-one on the beach (probably due to the fact that it was high tide) and we just got to chat for a wee while.

There's something about the beach, especially
at sunset, that just appeals to me on some
deep, meaningful level.

As always, we ended up at Burger King to get Lewis his cheeseburger.

What can you say? A man's gotta eat.

Lauren xxx