Wednesday, April 25, 2012

That's one shifty cow

I mean, honestly...
Just look at those eyes...

It's been a while since I've written a blog post that centers on my life, and the reason that has been the case is...

I haven't really done that much.

Didn't do that much today either to be brutally honest, haven't jumped out a window, or zip-lined off the roof of the school, or went cow-tipping

"If there's an udder, no need to shudder"
Cow-tipping's official motto.

Nope, instead I woke up (as you often do in the morning), looked outside, saw the rain, groaned, and then dragged myself to school.

TIP: Fall Out Boy's Pavlove is 92% likely to get to motivated to move in the morning.

Met Andrew on the bus, we talked about the Lostprophets gig last night (a review of which will be making its way to your screens shortly) and the craziness of this video:

It's five people playing one guitar.
At the same time.


Me, Sara and Andrew decided to be anti-social and go into our own wee study room.

Not that much studying was done. You know how it is.

Sophie came in to tell us about her job interview yesterday... if you could call it an interview.

You see, she went for a job interview at the party place in Aberdeen's Market.

Three things you need to know about Aberdeen's Market
  1. It's sometimes known as Aberdeen's new Market
  2. It isn't new. At all.
  3. It smells of food poisoning and broken dreams
Of course, party places are not judged by their surroundings. Mainly because party places RULE.

Then again, I consider any place that has pinatas to rule.

After all, nothing screams 'party!' 
quite like an evil sith lord pinata

This man has not discovered the force.

Anyways, back to Sophie and her interview... the manager was a bit of an idiot.
SOPHIE: What will I be doing?
LADY: Well, you're not eighteen, so you'll just be hoovering the store.
SOPHIE (to us): The store's like a third of this classroom, and there's only a few tiles of carpet... I can't hoover all day. But then she said:
LADY: Hmmmm, what else can I tell you that is bad?  
Pretty sure you're meant to be psyching people up for the jobs... not trying to put them off!

But hey, I can't speak, I'm unemployed!

Maybe that's where I'm going wrong. Just going to walk into my next (i.e. my first) job interview and say stuff like:
ME: Why do I want the job? Why does anyone want a job, MONEY! I'm not really wanting to work here but hey, I'll probably just skive the days I can't be bothered coming into work. Maybe I'll pop in to steal some money from the till and then push over a small child. After all, YOLO.

Kidding, kidding! I want a job to feel as though I'm contributing to society and to further my personal development, I never skive and I've only stolen a mars bar (that doesn't even count, because I was six and didn't understand the concept of paying for food). 

Oh yeah, I'm also not big on pushing over small children.
Those huge, bambi eyes just stare right through you.
Go on. Stare into his eyes.

We got a little bit controversial after that, in a discussion that I will feel guilty for until exams are finished probably. I do that a lot, feel guilty over tiny little things. 

Should probably work on that. 


Spent free period doing three things (after all, three is the magic number):

  1. Sitting in the hot bar excitedly saying hello to everyone who walked in. Where did I find the energy to do this? You tell me.
  2. Helping Lewis with the mundane job of tallying hundreds of sheets regarding school uniform changes.
  3. Debating with Laura over whether or not standing was the best option for concerts, which it obviously is.
The mundane job of tallying the questionnaires was made more enjoyable by some of the things the younger kids had written on the papers.

For example:
"Should girls in S1-S3 get the oppurtunity to wear cardigans?"Yes/No
Pupil's answer?
I'm not a girl. 
"What kind of shirts would you like to see S1-S3 wear?"
Pupil's answer? 
And another guy signed his name as "Wall-E" from Class A.

Class A? Classy. 

Won't go into the argument. It's long winded and unresolved, but we did go around the table to try doing a sort of poll.

Of course, the majority of people said standing (duuuuuh, because standing is the best) and when we got to Claire, who is one of Laura's best friends and possibly the sweetest girl I have ever met, she said this:
CLAIRE: Well, if you're seeing a band, you kind of have to stand!
I just bow down to Claire. Nothing else for it.

Sara was eating digestives and laughing cow cheese for her break, otherwise known as 'fine dining' for Kincorth Academy.

I stared into those cow's dark eyes and I saw the devil.

And I want to make it unequivocally clear that I'm talking about the laughing cow's eyes, and not Sara. Sara is not a cow. If she was any animal, she'd be a giraffe.

Who said zebras and giraffes can't
hang out?
ME: Why do you think the laughing cow is laughing?
SARA: It's because he's got awesome earrings. And because he's only a head, so he can't be made into burgers, or be milked! 
After I had stopped laughing:
ME: That cow definitely has something to hide. 

Poor Abie gave herself a lip-burn.

Apparently, if your lips are sore and you proceed on putting shaving cream on it... yeah, that's a bad idea.

You learn something new every day.

Lauren xxx