Best. Catch. Eveeer!

Made sure I was on time for registration this morning.


Linzie would have murdered me if she was left on her own again. Literally, murdered. You should have seen her face yesterday, nae messing!

Bumped into her at the bus stop though, So that was fine.


We ended up getting on a yellow bus (not all bad, you get on that one for free), but there was no more seats so me and Linzie ended up standing, that was difficult, seen as there were no poles to hold onto. At all.


Linzie then proceeded in holding onto my arm for support.

Got as much balance as this kid.

Now you know that, carefully reconsider using

me as support. I recommend using a carboard cutout? 

Much safer

A little while later, know what she said?

LINZIE: It feels like we're on safari!

ME: Where are all the animals?

LINZIE: On the bus!

Oooh, touche!  


(We had Study first, but it was so boring, I'm going to spare you the details!)

FREE

Instead of staying in the common room, me and Megan went on a "Ribena experience" as she so cutely put it. Basically, we went outside, sat in the sunshine, and drank some ribena.


It was heavenly.


But she wished it was gin. Haha, everyone's an alcoholic these days.


She was carrying around a mirror too, screaming:

MEGAN: I'm not vain!!

She isn't! She doesn't even need to look in a mirror to do her make-up or her hair. And she was only carrying around the mirror for artistic purposes.


Want proof she's not vain? She was holding the mirror, in her hands, and she still looked at her reflection in a pane of glass, rather than look in her mirror.

It's not stupidity to do that...

I swear!

DOUBLE ART

Best double period of Advanced Higher art ever!

So what if it's only the third double of Advanced Higher Art I've had? It was awesome!

Mr McDonald seems to have forgotten or misunderstood that the aim of the project was to produce meaningful photos depicting social issues, and instead 

got me choosing objects from the still life section...

So I chose:

A toast rack.

A tiny formula one car that is falling to pieces.

An old ship.

Whilst Kelly played with the tiny oars of the ship (bless), Mr McDonald started talking to me about the reason he got me to choose objects.

MR McDONALD: You should take pictures of the objects around the school. Put them in places where you wouldn't expect to see them. 

KELLY: Like a tree?

MR McDONALD: Yes, go outside and take some pictures of the ship in strange locations.

*We both turn to Kelly, who looks up momentarily from playing with the oars, giggles in amusement and then returns to playing with the oars again*

He told me to take her with me... I can't remember whether or not this was a suggestion or a command, either way, I'm happy he said it.


So, we found a bush, we clambered inside of it (this bush was in the middle of the school's ground, so imagine how it must have looked to passers by) and started placing the boat in different positions.

KELLY: Let's just shove it through the hole.

So, we "shoved it through the hole", and I watched in absolute terror as it began to dislodge and fell helplessly towards the ground...

This is one OLD ship. If it came back to the art department in pieces, he wouldn't be happy!

Enter Batman!

(I.e. Kelly)

She grabs the boat, by the sail, with two fingers, right before it hits the ground.

I stare at her in awe. She stares at me in awe.

KELLY: Best. Catch. EVEEER!

We carried on taking photos, perhaps for the next fifteen minutes, Kelly shouting:

KELLY: We're not peeing!

To literally every person that walked past.

KELLY: You say "We're not peeing" and sure, people look at you like "What the hell?" but then they think "Oh well, their not peeing" and carry on.

And you wondered why I missed this kid?


We went to the P.E. department after that, putting our ships among balls (BASKETballs) and stuck it down drain holes.

KELLY: This hole is cleaner than that hole!

Again,say nothing!


Finally, we went up the stairs and to the first floor, Mrs Fulton and Mrs Anderson were chatting in the corridor...

ME: *to Kelly* Oh faaaantastic...

At this point in time, I knew that something would be said about walking through school with a ship and a camera. I wasn't wrong. 

MRS ANDERSON: *looks up* The boats of the night are coming!

Kelly begins to make the ship move as though it is sailing through waves, Mrs Fulton sees the boat and leaps back.

MRS FULTON: I thought I was hallucinating!

Bwaha! You've got to love Full-o.


We then went to the library to get some ironic shots...


We found a book titled "World's worst shipping disasters" and made the boat crash into it.


Irony rules!!

DOUBLE ENGLISH

Man... this double was awkward!


I'd like to point out that my class consists of some of the loveliest people you will ever meet. 


Sara, Dougal, Suzie, Ashleigh, Emma... The other people seem lovely too, but I haven't really had a chance to speak to them yet. Our teacher is even an absolute sweetheart! But we have a problem...


We don't like speaking.


Actually, we have a real problem with it. Advanced Higher English is not a "Let's listen to the teacher and write down what she's saying" kind of course. It's a "discuss your own damn opinions and stop being such a lazy ass!" kind of course. There is no right. There is no wrong. Everything can be correct if you argue it passionately enough.


When you don't speak, the "discuss your own damn opinions" becomes a problem. And problems like that are not. Good.


I would have easily spoke. Ms Struthers is cool. My class are cool. I'd be more than okay to speak. BUT...


It was pure silence. No-one wants to be the first person to break that silence. So the silence is prolonged.


We did some ice breaking exercises to attempt to break the silence and bond.


We were asking and answering a lot of question really.


"If you could be any type of animal, mythical or real, what would it be?"


To which Sara asked:

SARA: Is a fairy considered to be an animal?

I'd say sure. Why the hell not.


She decided to be a fish instead though, because she'd like to swim well.

DOUGAL: I would like to be a cat, because they can sleep all day and no-one shouts at them, and they can also lick themselves all over. 

I can't remember what she said but Ms Struthers moved along the conversation at this point.

"What's your favourite food?"

SARA: Chicken super-noodles, because you can eat them whenever!

MS STRUTHERS: Oh, you're all set for University already! We used to have supernoodle toasties.

THE VOICE INSIDE MY HEAD: Fantastic idea Lauren, fantastic idea!

I can't really remember what I said... I usually spout out absolute crap when put under pressure or when I don't feel one hundred percent comfortable:

ME: I love the Chicken Katsu Curry from yo sushi, I seriously recommend you try that, unless you are a vegetarian... then I don't recommend it at all. 

I'm sure I have a condition. When there's more than five sets of eyes on me, my head just says: 

"You know what? Screw it. Say whatever you want. I want to see you crash and burn."

Yeah. My head is a douche.


Lauren xxx

Define "awesome"...

Awesome.

DEFINITION: 6th years in Kincorth Academy.

Face it, we are awesome. 


An Academy is only as good as the oldest year group, and in that aspect, Kincorth Academy is a brilliant school.


In every other aspect?

They crash and burn.

...

Is that an exploding cucumber?

I still need to write about yesterday, it was pretty awkward, because me and Sara had an exam, so we only went in for the first period. That and everything in our school has changed. Seriously, everything. It's not even changes for the better. It's changes that were attempted to make the school a better, more cost effective environment, but instead causes us all to burst out laughing instead. Fails are funny.

After I write yesterday's blog post, you'll understand why I no longer have all of my friends and Mrs Talboys as my registration teacher, but instead have only Linzie and pupils I do not know from various other years to keep me company, with Dr Robertson as our registration teacher.

Anyway, I feel very anti-social in that classroom.

Me and Linzie are sat up at the back, alone, and we don't speak to anyone else. In fact, we don't even know anyone else's name (bar Chloe and Callum). So I proposed to Linzie, a plan of action...

ME: I am going to learn one person's name, each day I am in this class!

LINZIE: Who is it today then? 

The awkward thing is, I decided this was going to be the case during the register being taken, so it ended by the time Linzie asked that question.

ME: ... We'll start tomorrow.

But then, progress! Dr Robertson called one of the younger boys by his name...

ME: RORY!!

LINZIE: Rory?

ME: Uh.... Rory. Maybe Corey?

Linzie is going to take the register to the office tomorrow, so we'll be able to see whether or not it's Rory or Corey. 

Call up Charlie Sheen, 'cause 

that's what I call winning.

Also, me and Linzie are going to come to registration prepared from now on... armed with a dictionary.

BOYS IN FRONT OF US: *to Dr Robertson* What does philosophy mean? 

DR ROBERTSON: Let's ask our experts!

They all turn to look at me and Linzie

LINZIE: Is that to do with Biology?

Calling Linzie an expert on Philosophy

is like calling this Toddler an expert in 

the field of medical science.

Ill-judged and misinformed.

DR ROBERTSON: No... What about you, you do phil... oh no. It's Psychology.

Calling me an expert on Philosophy?

Nope. The only insight I could provide on the matter was this:

ME: A philosopher used to come to our school... 

LINZIE: Wasn't he that minister?

ME: YES! Everybody hated him. He was saying things like "You should forgive the Nazi's"... You really shouldn't!!

At this point, Dr Robertson realised we were no experts on the matter.


And... casually wandered away.

ME: I'm taking a dictionary to school from now on.

STUDY

Best sight ever?


Seeing Megan carrying around a kettle, a bottle of water, milk, coffee and a container filled to the brim with splenda.


Or how about 60 pupils shoved into a fairly small room full of dangerous objects?!

Umm... not that dangerous.

Yes! ARGH! 

I was going to say "Run for your life!" but it's about scissors and you should never run with scissors. Naughty child.

Seriously though, it was dangerous, Sara sat on them!!

Up to Mrs Murray room we went... where it was absolutely boiling, and over-crowded.

It's such a pathetic school.

We had to go to the library and get books to read (or in most cases, pretend to).

Ms Haggarty (the librarian) took an absolute fit.

MS HAGGARTY: Uhh... what are you doing?!

SOMEONE: Mrs Murray told us to come through.

There was thirty odd people in the library, waiting to check out book they had no intention of reading.

LAUREN: There's a queue to check out books!! *puzzled face*

FREE

It was amazing! A majority of 6th year just hung out there, planning on what types of appliances/games/food we could bring in to make our 6th year experience more enjoyable.


So far, our list includes:

• Bean bags.
• Candy-floss machine
• Inflatable sofas
• Slush puppy machine
• Toaster
• Mini-fridge
• Microwave
• Posters

That's just so far.

Chris has already started a smush pot (£3.50 in smush already!)

Megan's kettle allowed me and her to enjoy an incredibly tasty cup of coffee this morning.

We ended up walking around school with our mugs.

MR HUGHSON: Very sophisticated!

Haha, If you say so Hughesy!


I'm taking in an Argos book tomorrow so we can decide what we want.


Yeah. We're gonna make a shopping list.

DOUBLE ART

Laughing at Sophie and Danielle, love those two girly's, going to miss them.


Decided I am going to do retro jewellery, based on old toys, popular brands, pop culture and sweets.


So maybe... kitsch is a better word to describe it?


Looking forward to doing this though!


Everyone has cool ideas. Love Kelly's, innovative idea the best though...

KELLY: I'm going to do another headpiece...

ME: That's coo...

KELLY: Using Babies.

ME: Cool... how are you going to make the babies?! *realises what was just said* Uhh, what materials are you going to make the babies out of?!

DOUBLE ENGLISH

Sara, Dougal and I went to Grammar for our first ever Advanced Higher English lesson and guess what?


It was fairly awesome.


We only have four people in our class, us three, and a lovely girl called Susanna.. Suzanna? Susannah? Suzannah?


Whatever the spelling, phonetically, it is "Soo's-An-Ahh"


Also met a cutie called Charlie (apparently, her "real" name is Charlotte, I'm assuming we're okay on "Nickname basis") who showed us to our class.

DOUGAL: I hate Carol Ann Duffy. 

SARA: Oooh... I really don't like her!

ME: Hold on... what has Carol ever done to you!?

DOUGAL: What, are you on first name basis with her now?!

Totally! Not quite like Dougal with Mary Shelley, to whom he's related.


Yeah. Dougal's related to Frankenstein's author. 

That's not Mary by the way.

We went on a nice walk around school, we got away early and we were basically told that we would be drinking coffee a lot.

I love Advanced Higher English already.

We bumped into Mr Strudwick (Me and Dougal's old Computing teacher) at the reception. It was kind of awkward.

GRAMMAR MAN: This is our transport pupils from Kincorth...

*Mr Strudwick looks at us, me and Dougal wave*

MR STRUDWICK: Be sure to count everything!

Sorry, I forgot to mention that this:

 

Is our new school uniform.

Me and Sara love the English teacher though, she's really pretty!

Haha, Sara totally had hair envy.

SARA: I want to steal her hair and trousers!

Wait... maybe we SHOULD be wearing that new school uniform. 

Lauren xxx

Fun with cars.

And I ain't talking 'bout  bumper cars.

That is one nice bumper car.

PSYCHOLOGY 

ART

Do you want to hear the good news or the bad news?

Good news? I got out of my NAB to finish off my art folio and I actually managed to finish off my art folio!!

Bad news? I missed the last ever Psychology class.

DOD!!! *shakes fist at sky* 

Yeah. I'm overly emotional over these things.

I've had some good times in that class! I'm going to miss the banter.

I'm predicted to get a B for Art... I'd REALLY like an A!! But hey, I left it to the very last minute, so I'm chuffed I passed at all!!

ENGLISH

Aww man... this is over a week ago... Genuinely can't remember!

DOUBLE MATHS

We would have had such a riot... if only we knew it would have been our last ever period of maths...


Alas. We did not.


However, the banter was amazing as usual. Words cannot describe my love for Sophie, Calum and Dougal. Such sweetie pies.


Spent my free with Sophie and Calum, revising English.


Sophie gave me and Calum a plan for a Turning point essay, so we were trying to decipher her writing and get our head around the points of the plan.

ME: So, is it all about the soliloquy?

SOPHIE: Uh... *Does this cute little smile that basically tells us all that she doesn't know what we're talking about* 

Smile and wave boys...

Smile and wave.

ART

Not much happened. Mr McDonald just confused us by saying that we might not get a photo of a painting when we open our exam paper next month... we might get a photo of fabricated fruit.

What tae fook?

Hilarious after school!

Calum was a sweetie and told me that he'd give me a lift home, so me, him and Caitlin waited in the car for Sophie, as she tried to stop Natalie driving away by lying across her bumper.

She also failed to stop Natalie driving away.

Yeah. She was running with the car.

What can I say? Sophie just didn't have

the strenght needed to stop a car.

Or pick it up with one hand.

If only she was a alcoholic hobbo!

She then tried to get into Calum's car... and he drove away, slow enough that she could still hang onto the side of the door, fast enough to make her run for her very life.

He repeated this several times, It was... ahhh... man! It was fantastic! Haven't laughed that hard in ages!!

Lauren xxx

Run for your lives!

Which is more frightening: An angry Torry pupil or asbestos?

Either one is deadly, the correct answer is "Both are terrifying".

Why do I ask you this? Well...

A Torry pupil punched a wall (It made constant "Yo' Momma" jokes to the boy. The wall had it coming) and guess what?

The wall had asbestos.

So what did they do? Close the school? Give the kids a day off so they could try to fix this problem?

Naw. They put a sign up.

Do not disturb! Asbestos is sleeping!

Aberdeen schools are a joke.

DOUBLE ENGLISH

We were meant to be revising for our Second prelim that is going to take place on Wednesday (which, looking back, would have been a pretty smart idea) but we are clearly little Shakespeare's in the making, so we don't need any extra revision... God no.

I know I do, but you're a rat so

what's your point?

We talked to Mrs Fulton instead.

CAITLIN: Ms... are those fit flops?

They are sexy and deep down, you know it.

MRS FULTON: Yes... I've been wearing them over the holidays and I thought, seen as it was a nice day yesterday, I could wear them again today but... *sneers and gestures to window, we look out the window and see a miserably foggy day*

CAITLIN: Do they work?

MRS FULTON: I've worn them for two years.... I'll tell you if anything happens.

CAITLIN: You should get a pair of the trainers that Mrs Murray has!

MRS FULTON: *pulls a face* Moving swiftly on...

Back to doing nothing...

CALUM: What are you doing?

ME: Nothing, just looking busy, what about you?

CALUM: Same!

Wednesday's results will be... interesting.

DOUBLE BIOLOGY

There was a moving twig.


I think it was a stick insect... who knows?! All I know is that it was moving.


And that Dr Robertson was being hilarious today. 

DR ROBERTSON: My sister and her Husband taught their daughter how to poop... but I could... *murmers* Donkey.

CLAIRE: What did he say?

ME: Something about a donkey?

LINZIE: I heard something about a Donkey...

ABIE: ... *stares at moving twig* 

It was just one of those weird days... as you can tell.


We even talked about tarantulas...

AARON: Tarantula's are fluffly, like eight legged hamsters.

Course they are Aaron!

DOUBLE FREE

I spent one period attempting to finish off my Design...

It didn't work. But I had a LOVELY chat with Sara!!

That's all that matters.

I am behind on this blog... I'm sorry. I'll snap out of it soon, don't worry!

Lauren xxx

I am a rampant, raping nun.

You got a problem wi' that?

PSYCHOLOGY

Yes. I got called a "Raging, Raping Nun" by Ashleigh today.

I don't even know why...

Oh no, wait, I do.

It was raining and I had no hood so I borrowed Sara's scarf and used it as a hijab.

Hijab? Raping Nun...

Yeah... I can see where you get that from...

*shifty eyes*

I decided to pretend to be a raping Nun... and I went into Pedo bear mode.

Hide yo' kids!

By "Pedo bear mode", I mean I stared directly at Ashleigh until she turned around, and then I slowly slid down the chair until I was out of view...

I love creeping people out.

Speaking about this blog today too!

ASHLEIGH: Better write that as your blog title!

ME: I will!

LJ: You have a blog?

ME: Yeaaaah.

ASHLEIGH: Where have you been for the past...

ME: 7 months? (Jeeez!)

KIRSTY: You get all the gossip!

LJ: I don't want to read gossip.

ASHLEIGH: But it's not all gossip.

LJ: You said it was! 

Gossip? Me? NEVER!


Speaking of gossip....


No. I don't think I have any gossip today.


Unless you want to hear about the condition of Caitlin's room?


Nah. Didn't think you would.

ENGLISH

Mrs Fulton seemed VERY calm for today being folio deadline!


In fact, so was so calm, she put on "Outnumbered" for us.


Productive lesson, as you can clearly tell.

Sorry. Genuinely couldn't keep a straight face. 

Megan was speaking about these girls who would literally socially exclude their "friends" if their hair was a mess or they didn't wear make-up.


Which, lets face it, is sickening.


Hate someone who's spreading rumours, or hatred. NOT someone who is merely being themselves.


Calum and Caitlin were "fighting" 

CALUM: Get on the bus back to Kincorth, then PHONE ME and I'll pick you up.

CAITLIN: I didn't take my phone!

CALUM: Well that's a lot of... *mumbles* good!

MRS FULTON: Do you want me to give you some money?

CALUM AND CAITLIN: Awww no!

MRS FULTON: Because I can't leave you stranded!

She's like a little superhero. 

Like THAT. But not as slutty.

Or slutty at all.

Went for break, and you know the "turd muffins" I used to tell you about?

You know, Turd Muffin.

Well, I give you... JIZZ MUFFIN.

...

Okay, my camera is in getting fixed right now, so there's no picture, just use your imagintion.

It's a muffin, with clumped on, white buttercream on top.

...

Mmm. Yummy.

DOUBLE MATHS

Good thing?

I realised that I've only got roughly 15 more periods of Maths again... in the rest of my life.

Bad thing?

I realised that I've only got roughly 15 more periods of Maths again with Sophie, Calum and Dogugal, in the rest of my life.

Queue the waterworks.

But seriously... THANK GOD I'm coming close to never EVER having to do another exponential function or draw a tan graph.

Seriously. Bleh.

Told Calum about how Michelle's cat attacked my viciously. It just really hates me.

Well you know what Kitty? I HATE YOU TOO.

.... 

DON'T LOOK DIRECTLY AT IT!!

Adele won a limo ride!

Which is pretty damn awesome! Sophie was totally chumming her up, trying to hitch a ride ;)

Haha, don't blame her!

Mr Hughes was trying to be funny again...

SOPHIE: Is it okay if me and Calum can go down to see Fullo?

MR HUGHES: Fullo?

CALUM: Mrs Fulton.

MR HUGHES: So are you Sophie-o?

*thuds head repeatedly on desk*

FREE

We have NO-WHERE to go now Mr Moody has stolen the Study room... Grrr... so we just went up and along every floor in the school.


We got up to third floor, and we were talking and looking at the giant map.... when Mrs Murray came out.

MRS MURRAY: What are you girls doing?!

Okay, before I can justify our actions, you must understand why we re-acted the way we did.


When adults see Mrs Murray, they see her for what she is...

Elton John's Mother 

A small, red haired lady.

When pupil's see her on the other hand?

Let's just say we perceive her as menacing.

So, when she asked us (angrily) what we were doing... we stared at her for a fifth of a second before all doing a ninety degree turn and bashing our faces off the map.


Seriously, we were standing that close to it.

ART

So stressful.


Found out that I have to complete TWO folios in the next 28 days...

WHAT HAVE I BEEN DOING FOR EIGHT MONTHS OF MY LIFE?!

Went out to Chiquitos with Abie and Lewis at night.


Had a great time! I love our Friday's out!


Abie booked a table but it wasn't ready by the time we got there... So the wifey that greets you almost got a table buzzer somewhere dark and painful.


Ouuch!


Lauren xxx