Best. Catch. Eveeer!

Made sure I was on time for registration this morning.


Linzie would have murdered me if she was left on her own again. Literally, murdered. You should have seen her face yesterday, nae messing!

Bumped into her at the bus stop though, So that was fine.


We ended up getting on a yellow bus (not all bad, you get on that one for free), but there was no more seats so me and Linzie ended up standing, that was difficult, seen as there were no poles to hold onto. At all.


Linzie then proceeded in holding onto my arm for support.

Got as much balance as this kid.

Now you know that, carefully reconsider using

me as support. I recommend using a carboard cutout? 

Much safer

A little while later, know what she said?

LINZIE: It feels like we're on safari!

ME: Where are all the animals?

LINZIE: On the bus!

Oooh, touche!  


(We had Study first, but it was so boring, I'm going to spare you the details!)

FREE

Instead of staying in the common room, me and Megan went on a "Ribena experience" as she so cutely put it. Basically, we went outside, sat in the sunshine, and drank some ribena.


It was heavenly.


But she wished it was gin. Haha, everyone's an alcoholic these days.


She was carrying around a mirror too, screaming:

MEGAN: I'm not vain!!

She isn't! She doesn't even need to look in a mirror to do her make-up or her hair. And she was only carrying around the mirror for artistic purposes.


Want proof she's not vain? She was holding the mirror, in her hands, and she still looked at her reflection in a pane of glass, rather than look in her mirror.

It's not stupidity to do that...

I swear!

DOUBLE ART

Best double period of Advanced Higher art ever!

So what if it's only the third double of Advanced Higher Art I've had? It was awesome!

Mr McDonald seems to have forgotten or misunderstood that the aim of the project was to produce meaningful photos depicting social issues, and instead 

got me choosing objects from the still life section...

So I chose:

A toast rack.

A tiny formula one car that is falling to pieces.

An old ship.

Whilst Kelly played with the tiny oars of the ship (bless), Mr McDonald started talking to me about the reason he got me to choose objects.

MR McDONALD: You should take pictures of the objects around the school. Put them in places where you wouldn't expect to see them. 

KELLY: Like a tree?

MR McDONALD: Yes, go outside and take some pictures of the ship in strange locations.

*We both turn to Kelly, who looks up momentarily from playing with the oars, giggles in amusement and then returns to playing with the oars again*

He told me to take her with me... I can't remember whether or not this was a suggestion or a command, either way, I'm happy he said it.


So, we found a bush, we clambered inside of it (this bush was in the middle of the school's ground, so imagine how it must have looked to passers by) and started placing the boat in different positions.

KELLY: Let's just shove it through the hole.

So, we "shoved it through the hole", and I watched in absolute terror as it began to dislodge and fell helplessly towards the ground...

This is one OLD ship. If it came back to the art department in pieces, he wouldn't be happy!

Enter Batman!

(I.e. Kelly)

She grabs the boat, by the sail, with two fingers, right before it hits the ground.

I stare at her in awe. She stares at me in awe.

KELLY: Best. Catch. EVEEER!

We carried on taking photos, perhaps for the next fifteen minutes, Kelly shouting:

KELLY: We're not peeing!

To literally every person that walked past.

KELLY: You say "We're not peeing" and sure, people look at you like "What the hell?" but then they think "Oh well, their not peeing" and carry on.

And you wondered why I missed this kid?


We went to the P.E. department after that, putting our ships among balls (BASKETballs) and stuck it down drain holes.

KELLY: This hole is cleaner than that hole!

Again,say nothing!


Finally, we went up the stairs and to the first floor, Mrs Fulton and Mrs Anderson were chatting in the corridor...

ME: *to Kelly* Oh faaaantastic...

At this point in time, I knew that something would be said about walking through school with a ship and a camera. I wasn't wrong. 

MRS ANDERSON: *looks up* The boats of the night are coming!

Kelly begins to make the ship move as though it is sailing through waves, Mrs Fulton sees the boat and leaps back.

MRS FULTON: I thought I was hallucinating!

Bwaha! You've got to love Full-o.


We then went to the library to get some ironic shots...


We found a book titled "World's worst shipping disasters" and made the boat crash into it.


Irony rules!!

DOUBLE ENGLISH

Man... this double was awkward!


I'd like to point out that my class consists of some of the loveliest people you will ever meet. 


Sara, Dougal, Suzie, Ashleigh, Emma... The other people seem lovely too, but I haven't really had a chance to speak to them yet. Our teacher is even an absolute sweetheart! But we have a problem...


We don't like speaking.


Actually, we have a real problem with it. Advanced Higher English is not a "Let's listen to the teacher and write down what she's saying" kind of course. It's a "discuss your own damn opinions and stop being such a lazy ass!" kind of course. There is no right. There is no wrong. Everything can be correct if you argue it passionately enough.


When you don't speak, the "discuss your own damn opinions" becomes a problem. And problems like that are not. Good.


I would have easily spoke. Ms Struthers is cool. My class are cool. I'd be more than okay to speak. BUT...


It was pure silence. No-one wants to be the first person to break that silence. So the silence is prolonged.


We did some ice breaking exercises to attempt to break the silence and bond.


We were asking and answering a lot of question really.


"If you could be any type of animal, mythical or real, what would it be?"


To which Sara asked:

SARA: Is a fairy considered to be an animal?

I'd say sure. Why the hell not.


She decided to be a fish instead though, because she'd like to swim well.

DOUGAL: I would like to be a cat, because they can sleep all day and no-one shouts at them, and they can also lick themselves all over. 

I can't remember what she said but Ms Struthers moved along the conversation at this point.

"What's your favourite food?"

SARA: Chicken super-noodles, because you can eat them whenever!

MS STRUTHERS: Oh, you're all set for University already! We used to have supernoodle toasties.

THE VOICE INSIDE MY HEAD: Fantastic idea Lauren, fantastic idea!

I can't really remember what I said... I usually spout out absolute crap when put under pressure or when I don't feel one hundred percent comfortable:

ME: I love the Chicken Katsu Curry from yo sushi, I seriously recommend you try that, unless you are a vegetarian... then I don't recommend it at all. 

I'm sure I have a condition. When there's more than five sets of eyes on me, my head just says: 

"You know what? Screw it. Say whatever you want. I want to see you crash and burn."

Yeah. My head is a douche.


Lauren xxx

Define "awesome"...

Awesome.

DEFINITION: 6th years in Kincorth Academy.

Face it, we are awesome. 


An Academy is only as good as the oldest year group, and in that aspect, Kincorth Academy is a brilliant school.


In every other aspect?

They crash and burn.

...

Is that an exploding cucumber?

I still need to write about yesterday, it was pretty awkward, because me and Sara had an exam, so we only went in for the first period. That and everything in our school has changed. Seriously, everything. It's not even changes for the better. It's changes that were attempted to make the school a better, more cost effective environment, but instead causes us all to burst out laughing instead. Fails are funny.

After I write yesterday's blog post, you'll understand why I no longer have all of my friends and Mrs Talboys as my registration teacher, but instead have only Linzie and pupils I do not know from various other years to keep me company, with Dr Robertson as our registration teacher.

Anyway, I feel very anti-social in that classroom.

Me and Linzie are sat up at the back, alone, and we don't speak to anyone else. In fact, we don't even know anyone else's name (bar Chloe and Callum). So I proposed to Linzie, a plan of action...

ME: I am going to learn one person's name, each day I am in this class!

LINZIE: Who is it today then? 

The awkward thing is, I decided this was going to be the case during the register being taken, so it ended by the time Linzie asked that question.

ME: ... We'll start tomorrow.

But then, progress! Dr Robertson called one of the younger boys by his name...

ME: RORY!!

LINZIE: Rory?

ME: Uh.... Rory. Maybe Corey?

Linzie is going to take the register to the office tomorrow, so we'll be able to see whether or not it's Rory or Corey. 

Call up Charlie Sheen, 'cause 

that's what I call winning.

Also, me and Linzie are going to come to registration prepared from now on... armed with a dictionary.

BOYS IN FRONT OF US: *to Dr Robertson* What does philosophy mean? 

DR ROBERTSON: Let's ask our experts!

They all turn to look at me and Linzie

LINZIE: Is that to do with Biology?

Calling Linzie an expert on Philosophy

is like calling this Toddler an expert in 

the field of medical science.

Ill-judged and misinformed.

DR ROBERTSON: No... What about you, you do phil... oh no. It's Psychology.

Calling me an expert on Philosophy?

Nope. The only insight I could provide on the matter was this:

ME: A philosopher used to come to our school... 

LINZIE: Wasn't he that minister?

ME: YES! Everybody hated him. He was saying things like "You should forgive the Nazi's"... You really shouldn't!!

At this point, Dr Robertson realised we were no experts on the matter.


And... casually wandered away.

ME: I'm taking a dictionary to school from now on.

STUDY

Best sight ever?


Seeing Megan carrying around a kettle, a bottle of water, milk, coffee and a container filled to the brim with splenda.


Or how about 60 pupils shoved into a fairly small room full of dangerous objects?!

Umm... not that dangerous.

Yes! ARGH! 

I was going to say "Run for your life!" but it's about scissors and you should never run with scissors. Naughty child.

Seriously though, it was dangerous, Sara sat on them!!

Up to Mrs Murray room we went... where it was absolutely boiling, and over-crowded.

It's such a pathetic school.

We had to go to the library and get books to read (or in most cases, pretend to).

Ms Haggarty (the librarian) took an absolute fit.

MS HAGGARTY: Uhh... what are you doing?!

SOMEONE: Mrs Murray told us to come through.

There was thirty odd people in the library, waiting to check out book they had no intention of reading.

LAUREN: There's a queue to check out books!! *puzzled face*

FREE

It was amazing! A majority of 6th year just hung out there, planning on what types of appliances/games/food we could bring in to make our 6th year experience more enjoyable.


So far, our list includes:

• Bean bags.
• Candy-floss machine
• Inflatable sofas
• Slush puppy machine
• Toaster
• Mini-fridge
• Microwave
• Posters

That's just so far.

Chris has already started a smush pot (£3.50 in smush already!)

Megan's kettle allowed me and her to enjoy an incredibly tasty cup of coffee this morning.

We ended up walking around school with our mugs.

MR HUGHSON: Very sophisticated!

Haha, If you say so Hughesy!


I'm taking in an Argos book tomorrow so we can decide what we want.


Yeah. We're gonna make a shopping list.

DOUBLE ART

Laughing at Sophie and Danielle, love those two girly's, going to miss them.


Decided I am going to do retro jewellery, based on old toys, popular brands, pop culture and sweets.


So maybe... kitsch is a better word to describe it?


Looking forward to doing this though!


Everyone has cool ideas. Love Kelly's, innovative idea the best though...

KELLY: I'm going to do another headpiece...

ME: That's coo...

KELLY: Using Babies.

ME: Cool... how are you going to make the babies?! *realises what was just said* Uhh, what materials are you going to make the babies out of?!

DOUBLE ENGLISH

Sara, Dougal and I went to Grammar for our first ever Advanced Higher English lesson and guess what?


It was fairly awesome.


We only have four people in our class, us three, and a lovely girl called Susanna.. Suzanna? Susannah? Suzannah?


Whatever the spelling, phonetically, it is "Soo's-An-Ahh"


Also met a cutie called Charlie (apparently, her "real" name is Charlotte, I'm assuming we're okay on "Nickname basis") who showed us to our class.

DOUGAL: I hate Carol Ann Duffy. 

SARA: Oooh... I really don't like her!

ME: Hold on... what has Carol ever done to you!?

DOUGAL: What, are you on first name basis with her now?!

Totally! Not quite like Dougal with Mary Shelley, to whom he's related.


Yeah. Dougal's related to Frankenstein's author. 

That's not Mary by the way.

We went on a nice walk around school, we got away early and we were basically told that we would be drinking coffee a lot.

I love Advanced Higher English already.

We bumped into Mr Strudwick (Me and Dougal's old Computing teacher) at the reception. It was kind of awkward.

GRAMMAR MAN: This is our transport pupils from Kincorth...

*Mr Strudwick looks at us, me and Dougal wave*

MR STRUDWICK: Be sure to count everything!

Sorry, I forgot to mention that this:

 

Is our new school uniform.

Me and Sara love the English teacher though, she's really pretty!

Haha, Sara totally had hair envy.

SARA: I want to steal her hair and trousers!

Wait... maybe we SHOULD be wearing that new school uniform. 

Lauren xxx

Golf widow

Muck up day:

"The last EVER day of secondary school or college, when everyone in the senior year sets up various pranks to amuse the younger students (and themselves)."

It's a beautiful day, and it's also the one day that everyone in 6th year turns up to.


Why wouldn't you? It's your last ever day of school, and you get away with everything.

Almost everything.


Stuff to do on your last day of school:

• Ordering a heap of fast food to the school, under your headteacher's name... to be delivered at a time where he has a meeting.
• Cover a teachers car in tuna and shoving a potato in their exhaust.
• Block the stairway so no-one could get to class.
• Tie people up with clingfilm
• Release two sheep in the school; One labelled "One", the next labelled "Three" and watch as the teachers run around the school in panic, attempting to find the non-existent sheep number "Two".
• Decorate the school... however you want.
• Put baby oil on the banisters.
• Fill water balloons with Ketchup.
• Dress up as superheroes... unless you actually are a superhero. Then you should probably go as ninja.
• Kidnap a teacher. Preferably one that won't press charges.
• Cry.

Okay... I did the last one for the 6th years. I'm just going to miss them so much!

P.S.E

I missed the last ever redgy with Mrs Talboys because of the buses *rolls eyes*


I can't say that I'm bothered about that. I am not. Seriously. I don't care.


Some redgy teachers were given presents, others gave presents, some made heartfelt speeches...


What happened in my redgy class?


Caitlin made a passing comment about it being the last ever redgy that 5F1 will spend together.


And then my redgy teacher mixed me up with Sara. And I wasn't even there...

Justifiable seen as I've been in her

class once a day (previously

twice a day) for almost

SIX YEARS!

We were down in Mrs Anderson's guidance room cause our class was so small.
It smells nice, but it's way too quiet.


So we ended up just chatting away, awkwardly, seen as Mrs Anderson could hear every word we were saying.


But it goes both ways!!

MRS ANDERSON: Yes, seen as I'm a golf widow! *laughs uncontrollably*

Me, Michelle, Claire and Lauren share a look that screams: What the hell is she talking about?!


We were meant to man the fire alarms all day (people could not be bothered doing that though) so the 6th years couldn't set them off, but it ended up failing because I almost ended up accidentally setting them off... twice.


Watch where you lean.

BIOLOGY

We revised our asses off in this per...


Hah! Just kidding, we played taboo.


Then it was break... and all of the 6th years were in the hotbar... Signing eachother's t-shirts, hugging one another, going insane with a beachball...


It was all very touching.


Mrs Henderson got hit on the back of the head with the beachball... good times!


She didn't even shout at Danielle, she just smiled. 


Told you, 6th years get away with everything on muck up day!!

Almost everything.


Signed Kristina's book, gave more people hugs than I could possibly name, signed Sophie's Hannah Montana banner (don't ask) and got a photo taken with Sophie and Lewis...


Then I saw Laura hugging Kristina and I just almost broke into tears...


I'm gonna miss those two so much!!

DOUBLE ART

Okay, here's the deal, I nearly cried about seven times in the space of these two hours.


I blame Kristina's book! Some people wrote some really beautiful stuff in it!! 
We were remembering the good times, including the legend of "ching".

LAUREN: CHING!

LAUREN AND I: *in Unison* Chiiiinngg... *broken hearted face* 

You see, it is in that very classroom that we came up with the greeting/nickname Ching. It happened when doing a dot picture, it's furiously dot the pen to make a piece of paper look like a teapot (don't ask) and whenever I would stop tapping, Lauren would shout "Ching!" from across the classroom because it sounded like a typewriter...


The legend of ching is finished.


I was upset by that.


Then Mr Lawson came in and called Greg gay...

MR LAWSON: Do you wear your trouser low?

GREG: Yeah.

MR LAWSON: Do you know where that came from?

GREG: No...

MR LAWSON: I'm not racist, but It came from black people. In prison, people used to wear their trousers like that as an invitation for homosexual sex.

Louie Spence:

A big supporter of the sagging trend.

Then again, he's also into the "cover your

manhood with piece of fruit trend"...

Note: Pineapple's are prickly. Ouch

Further note: It's not a fully grown pineapple,

which means he's a PINEAPPLE PAEDOPHILE!

Then Mr Lawson started to ask whether or not people smoked coffee... I switched off after that.

DOUBLE MATHS

Possibly the last time I ever have to do maths!! Which is good, but Calum and Sophie weren't there... so it sucked majorly... I'm going to miss them more than I can possibly describe...


Ahh-booooooo! 


Megan came round after school to cheer me up, we talked, looked up the next school play, "The return to the forbidden planet" (Look it up, it's dreadful)


All in all? It was a good Tuesday.


Lauren xxx

Hillbilly's and yahoo answers do NOT mix.

Just an observation.

STUDY

Study this week was less... studying and more of a frantic panic to finish art. 


Heavy emphasis on frantic.

PUSH DA PANIC BUTTON!

You see, the art folio, 100% finished, was due in at 3.15pm on Thursday.

Which gave us all less than 8 hours to finish our final sheets (That takes bloody ages and very few of us were finished) and most of our development sheets... 

So STRESS?

Yes. The class were swearing like sailors.

HAYLEIGH: *notices there is some paint on her photos* F*ck! F*ck f*ck sh*t!!!

This speech bubble came out of just

about everyone's mouths.

...

Several times.

You should have seen the photos of Lauren and her sweet wrapper covered corset. They were gorgeous!

Kristina was awfully stressed bless her. She only had an hour and a half sleep and she was sick twice... just wanted to give her a hug!

Emotions were running high on Thursday. People were crying left, right and centre. 

And then Kati breezed in with a smile on her face, as always, she's so freaking happy, it just leaks onto everyone else.

Optimism and pessimism is contagious, don't let anyone tell you differently!

MATHS

Not much happened, Dougal pointed out how little time we have left... 

I'm going to miss Calum and Sophie!

Dougal. You are not getting rid of me that quickly. See you next year in Advanced Higher English.

DOUBLE PSYCHOLOGY

This double was the best of the whole week!

Just looking at Hannah and Emma's computer screen and laughing (not so) quietly to ourselves.

Just looking at THIS site and laughing at the extreme fails. Emphasis on extreme.

There was a miniature crowd by the end of the laughing session. Dod gave us a dirty look...

If he saw the next things we were looking at, he would've immediately forgiven us...

PANDAS!

ME: Panda's are awesome! They are like the natural advertisement against racism, "look at me, I'm black, white, asian, and adorable."

Know what else is adorable? Micro pigs.

I'm Piggy, IN WELLIE BOOTS!

How can you not love micropigs?! Look at their wee snouts and fall madly in love.

SARA: Samantha's Uncle is getting a micro-pig, but he has to buy two so one doesn't get lonely! How cute is that?!

So cute!  


Lucas then ruined the cuteness.

LUCAS: What do you think is better for killing someone: A cordless keyboard or a corded keyboard?

ME: *In a serious tone* A cordless, because then you could throw the keyboard at whoever you are trying to kill.

Us? Homicidal maniacs? NEVER!

Suicidal maniacs? Perhaps.

LUCAS: *tying mouse around his neck* Do you think anyone has ever committed suicide with their mouse?

I don't... but Mickey Mouse tried to commit suicide back in the 1930's cause Minnie dumped him. Messed up huh?

This is the inspiration

for the title.

Beware of vampire babies...

Also, beware of mis-reading signs. I thought that "Clean line socket machine" said "Clean, lean, socket machine".

Classroom photography - It's making a comeback!

DOUBLE ART

Holy shiz... the atmosphere in that room was terrible.

Kelly lightened the mood though....

KELLY: Why is it such a long walk from that classroom to this one?! *does a happily confused face*

Had a nervous breakdown over art too. I thought it was meant to be relaxing!!

Eventually finished art though!! 

Thank God! ^_^

Lauren xxx

Gregenga

Greg + Jenga = Gregenga! 

Or is it 4?

...

No wonder I failed maths.

STUDY

Speaking of failing, I had a NAB to revise for... which I didn't want to fail (did I have to add that in? Or did you know what I was getting at there?)

Sadly, not much revision was done.

Our study class is too funny.

Linzie, Andrew and Sara were playing jenga on Greg's head with books.

They managed to create quite a pile, before Greg moved his head and the entire pile came crashing down.

That's Gregenga for you.

Our study class is actually the classroom of one of the two lesbian English teachers.

She's got film posters all over the walls, all of very hot men. Or great films. Or penguins. Or hot penguins in films.

LINZIE: If this is Mrs Ashley's room... why are there pictures of men all over the walls?

SARA: Maybe she's bisexual?

Fair dues. 

 MATHS

I failed my second Maths prelim.

Arggghhh. 

He was being a douche about the whole situation anyways, reading aloud people's scores isn't respectful. Especially if they did not do well. Even worse is when this conversation goes down:

MR HUGHES: That's improvement though, it's okay, that's improvement.

MR SHAW: That's improvement? *Makes shocked face and leaves*

It makes me angry when that happens. People tried their best and they don't deserve those types of mean comments to bring them down.


The sooner I can get out of that department, the better.


NOTE: That does not mean I want to get away from people like Calum, Sophie, Dougal, Danielle and co. In fact, it's quite to opposite. But I cannot deal with another year of the hell that is maths!!


Mr Hughes did tell us however that we should go to the library to study...


Someone asked him if that's what he used to do.

MR HUGHES: Yes.

SOPHIE: Awwww! Can't you just imagine little Hughesy?

I can actually... In fact, I've got an old family photo of him as a toddler!

And later, as a child, with a killer bowl-cut, being forced to study and become a maths teacher...

"But I don't want to be a Maths teacher...

I WANNA BE AN ASTRONAUT!"

DOUBLE PSYCHOLOGY

NAB. Fooooook.

NAB re-sit. FOOOOK.

DOD: Tell me what a bar graph looks like... Lauren.

ME: *in my head* FOOOOK!

Trying to describe a bar graph is like trying to describe a colour. You CAN'T explain what it is unless you state what it is. *sigh*


The NAB wasn't too difficult, so it was okay.


And me, Sara and Lucas ended up speaking to two Torry girls that have been in our class since... last June? And we've never really sat down to talk to them properly.


Which, if you think about it, is kind of tragic! Because they are really adorably sweet! 

HANNAH: I don't like animals... I got chased around by a chicken once...

Believe it.

Awesome Psychology banter, as always.

Mukhtar was being a tour guide on the bus back from Torry, which, on reflection, was kind of weird... seen as he had just said:

"I never tell lies".

And here he is saying nothing but lies...

MUKHTAR: We're approaching one of the most beautiful areas of Aberdeen right now.

(He was referring to Kincorth, so blatant LIE)

MUKHTAR: You'll see lots of Dandelions.

(They were daffodils) 

MUKHTAR: The brown ones aren't dead, they are just hibernating.

(Flowers don't hibernate, bears do). 

MUKHTAR: And we are just approaching a private school, it's the best school in Aberdeen.

(He was speaking about Kincorth Academy, need I say any more?)

Lunch? Urggghhh...


The music on the radio was horrible!


Glee.


Glee.


Glee.

Rod Stewart.

Glee.

Aqua.


AQUA!?


Listen to this and tell me that this isn't a timeless classic...


Okay... timeless classic has pretty positive connotations, right? Then it is not a timeless classic. But this song just. wont. die.


Wow. After a quick google session, I discovered that Aqua are still alive.


And they are producing semi serious music?

Even Rebecca Black is shocked by your cheesiness.

That is a huge insult to Aqua, I am sure we can all agree.

DOUBLE ART

Rachel was blasting her tunes.


I know what you're thinking...


"That sounds pretty funky" or, if you come from this century, "That sounds pretty cool, what's the problem with that?"


The problem?


THIS is the problem.


The bigger problem? I actually like that song. Oh dear.


Mr McDonald then came in and TOTALLY crushed the party mood, because he revealed that the art folios are due in on the 6th of May. 


That's 2 weeks away.


And I haven't even finished them. EITHER of them...


FOOK!


Basically, everyone was just stressing out because of this.


Apart from Liam, cause he's is just one chilled out dude.


New nickname? The Icecube. I shall have to inform him that this is his new nickname...


He has been informed. 


Speaking of Liam, had an epic conversation with him and Aaron on the bus ride home. 


Well, I had an awesome conversation with the both of them in general, but that was on Thursday and now It's Saturday so I'm just going to give you excerpts.

LIAM: So who's side were you on: Team Paramore or Team Farro?

ME: Isn't it obvious?!

LIAM: Team Farro?

ME: NO! Team Paramore...

LIAM: WHY?!

ME: Josh is such a douche! He keeps bringing up the past, I wouldn't mind them if Josh just stopped!

LIAM: But the drummer was hot.

ME: Yeah... Zac was a cutie... But Hayley Williams?! I'd go gay for her. Wouldn't you go straight for her?

I'd love to tell you that having a gay friend isn't all it's cracked up to be, but I'd be lying. I loved Liam before I found out he was gay, but I love him even more now! ^_^


We were having a conversation about concerts, so obviously, I whapped oot the boob story


...


Whapped oot and boobs probably shouldn't be in the same sentence, should they?


Oh well. It's my blog and I'll write whatever I please!

What's that? The Power has went to my head?

Never

ME: Yeah, I was at a concert, and I got whacked in the face by someone's boobs. I mean, I just turned round to speak to Chloe and BOOM. Boobs in the face. 

LIAM: Lesbian!

ME: Is it really lesbian if I didn't choose for it to happen? It's more like rape.

LIAM: Or just a terrible invasion of personal space.

This is normal banter for me. It's what I hear on a daily basis. Perhaps that just helps emphasize the weird nature of my life.


What is NOT normal, or anticipated, or even socially acceptable?


Some random kid deciding to join in this conversation at this precise moment in time.

Creepy child alert!

RANDOM KID: I heard every thing you just said.

INNER MONOLOGUE: Damn. I told myself that I would speak quietly on buses after the time Michelle told me that I was like a foghorn on them.

ME: ... Yeaaaah.

RANDOM KID'S FRIEND: He turned around so quickly when you mentioned boobs.

I just wanted to shout out:

"YES! Some random girl slapped me across the face with her jugs! It was the least sexual thing I have ever witnessed. GET OVER IT AND DON'T BUMP INTO CONVERSATIONS AT AWKWARD TIMES!"

But, I didn't. 

RANDOM KID: Goodbye weird girl.

First: Weird girl? No. If that is going to be my superhero's name, then you can get lost! I want to be called Captain Flash. Flash as in flash photography. Not flash as in exposing self in public.

Whenever I think of flashers, I immediately think

of the Gremlins flasher scene.

I'm a movie geek, sue me.

Second: RESPECT YOUR ELDERS!!

RESPECT!!

Lauren xxx