Best. Catch. Eveeer!

Made sure I was on time for registration this morning.


Linzie would have murdered me if she was left on her own again. Literally, murdered. You should have seen her face yesterday, nae messing!

Bumped into her at the bus stop though, So that was fine.


We ended up getting on a yellow bus (not all bad, you get on that one for free), but there was no more seats so me and Linzie ended up standing, that was difficult, seen as there were no poles to hold onto. At all.


Linzie then proceeded in holding onto my arm for support.

Got as much balance as this kid.

Now you know that, carefully reconsider using

me as support. I recommend using a carboard cutout? 

Much safer

A little while later, know what she said?

LINZIE: It feels like we're on safari!

ME: Where are all the animals?

LINZIE: On the bus!

Oooh, touche!  


(We had Study first, but it was so boring, I'm going to spare you the details!)

FREE

Instead of staying in the common room, me and Megan went on a "Ribena experience" as she so cutely put it. Basically, we went outside, sat in the sunshine, and drank some ribena.


It was heavenly.


But she wished it was gin. Haha, everyone's an alcoholic these days.


She was carrying around a mirror too, screaming:

MEGAN: I'm not vain!!

She isn't! She doesn't even need to look in a mirror to do her make-up or her hair. And she was only carrying around the mirror for artistic purposes.


Want proof she's not vain? She was holding the mirror, in her hands, and she still looked at her reflection in a pane of glass, rather than look in her mirror.

It's not stupidity to do that...

I swear!

DOUBLE ART

Best double period of Advanced Higher art ever!

So what if it's only the third double of Advanced Higher Art I've had? It was awesome!

Mr McDonald seems to have forgotten or misunderstood that the aim of the project was to produce meaningful photos depicting social issues, and instead 

got me choosing objects from the still life section...

So I chose:

A toast rack.

A tiny formula one car that is falling to pieces.

An old ship.

Whilst Kelly played with the tiny oars of the ship (bless), Mr McDonald started talking to me about the reason he got me to choose objects.

MR McDONALD: You should take pictures of the objects around the school. Put them in places where you wouldn't expect to see them. 

KELLY: Like a tree?

MR McDONALD: Yes, go outside and take some pictures of the ship in strange locations.

*We both turn to Kelly, who looks up momentarily from playing with the oars, giggles in amusement and then returns to playing with the oars again*

He told me to take her with me... I can't remember whether or not this was a suggestion or a command, either way, I'm happy he said it.


So, we found a bush, we clambered inside of it (this bush was in the middle of the school's ground, so imagine how it must have looked to passers by) and started placing the boat in different positions.

KELLY: Let's just shove it through the hole.

So, we "shoved it through the hole", and I watched in absolute terror as it began to dislodge and fell helplessly towards the ground...

This is one OLD ship. If it came back to the art department in pieces, he wouldn't be happy!

Enter Batman!

(I.e. Kelly)

She grabs the boat, by the sail, with two fingers, right before it hits the ground.

I stare at her in awe. She stares at me in awe.

KELLY: Best. Catch. EVEEER!

We carried on taking photos, perhaps for the next fifteen minutes, Kelly shouting:

KELLY: We're not peeing!

To literally every person that walked past.

KELLY: You say "We're not peeing" and sure, people look at you like "What the hell?" but then they think "Oh well, their not peeing" and carry on.

And you wondered why I missed this kid?


We went to the P.E. department after that, putting our ships among balls (BASKETballs) and stuck it down drain holes.

KELLY: This hole is cleaner than that hole!

Again,say nothing!


Finally, we went up the stairs and to the first floor, Mrs Fulton and Mrs Anderson were chatting in the corridor...

ME: *to Kelly* Oh faaaantastic...

At this point in time, I knew that something would be said about walking through school with a ship and a camera. I wasn't wrong. 

MRS ANDERSON: *looks up* The boats of the night are coming!

Kelly begins to make the ship move as though it is sailing through waves, Mrs Fulton sees the boat and leaps back.

MRS FULTON: I thought I was hallucinating!

Bwaha! You've got to love Full-o.


We then went to the library to get some ironic shots...


We found a book titled "World's worst shipping disasters" and made the boat crash into it.


Irony rules!!

DOUBLE ENGLISH

Man... this double was awkward!


I'd like to point out that my class consists of some of the loveliest people you will ever meet. 


Sara, Dougal, Suzie, Ashleigh, Emma... The other people seem lovely too, but I haven't really had a chance to speak to them yet. Our teacher is even an absolute sweetheart! But we have a problem...


We don't like speaking.


Actually, we have a real problem with it. Advanced Higher English is not a "Let's listen to the teacher and write down what she's saying" kind of course. It's a "discuss your own damn opinions and stop being such a lazy ass!" kind of course. There is no right. There is no wrong. Everything can be correct if you argue it passionately enough.


When you don't speak, the "discuss your own damn opinions" becomes a problem. And problems like that are not. Good.


I would have easily spoke. Ms Struthers is cool. My class are cool. I'd be more than okay to speak. BUT...


It was pure silence. No-one wants to be the first person to break that silence. So the silence is prolonged.


We did some ice breaking exercises to attempt to break the silence and bond.


We were asking and answering a lot of question really.


"If you could be any type of animal, mythical or real, what would it be?"


To which Sara asked:

SARA: Is a fairy considered to be an animal?

I'd say sure. Why the hell not.


She decided to be a fish instead though, because she'd like to swim well.

DOUGAL: I would like to be a cat, because they can sleep all day and no-one shouts at them, and they can also lick themselves all over. 

I can't remember what she said but Ms Struthers moved along the conversation at this point.

"What's your favourite food?"

SARA: Chicken super-noodles, because you can eat them whenever!

MS STRUTHERS: Oh, you're all set for University already! We used to have supernoodle toasties.

THE VOICE INSIDE MY HEAD: Fantastic idea Lauren, fantastic idea!

I can't really remember what I said... I usually spout out absolute crap when put under pressure or when I don't feel one hundred percent comfortable:

ME: I love the Chicken Katsu Curry from yo sushi, I seriously recommend you try that, unless you are a vegetarian... then I don't recommend it at all. 

I'm sure I have a condition. When there's more than five sets of eyes on me, my head just says: 

"You know what? Screw it. Say whatever you want. I want to see you crash and burn."

Yeah. My head is a douche.


Lauren xxx

Hillbilly's and yahoo answers do NOT mix.

Just an observation.

STUDY

Study this week was less... studying and more of a frantic panic to finish art. 


Heavy emphasis on frantic.

PUSH DA PANIC BUTTON!

You see, the art folio, 100% finished, was due in at 3.15pm on Thursday.

Which gave us all less than 8 hours to finish our final sheets (That takes bloody ages and very few of us were finished) and most of our development sheets... 

So STRESS?

Yes. The class were swearing like sailors.

HAYLEIGH: *notices there is some paint on her photos* F*ck! F*ck f*ck sh*t!!!

This speech bubble came out of just

about everyone's mouths.

...

Several times.

You should have seen the photos of Lauren and her sweet wrapper covered corset. They were gorgeous!

Kristina was awfully stressed bless her. She only had an hour and a half sleep and she was sick twice... just wanted to give her a hug!

Emotions were running high on Thursday. People were crying left, right and centre. 

And then Kati breezed in with a smile on her face, as always, she's so freaking happy, it just leaks onto everyone else.

Optimism and pessimism is contagious, don't let anyone tell you differently!

MATHS

Not much happened, Dougal pointed out how little time we have left... 

I'm going to miss Calum and Sophie!

Dougal. You are not getting rid of me that quickly. See you next year in Advanced Higher English.

DOUBLE PSYCHOLOGY

This double was the best of the whole week!

Just looking at Hannah and Emma's computer screen and laughing (not so) quietly to ourselves.

Just looking at THIS site and laughing at the extreme fails. Emphasis on extreme.

There was a miniature crowd by the end of the laughing session. Dod gave us a dirty look...

If he saw the next things we were looking at, he would've immediately forgiven us...

PANDAS!

ME: Panda's are awesome! They are like the natural advertisement against racism, "look at me, I'm black, white, asian, and adorable."

Know what else is adorable? Micro pigs.

I'm Piggy, IN WELLIE BOOTS!

How can you not love micropigs?! Look at their wee snouts and fall madly in love.

SARA: Samantha's Uncle is getting a micro-pig, but he has to buy two so one doesn't get lonely! How cute is that?!

So cute!  


Lucas then ruined the cuteness.

LUCAS: What do you think is better for killing someone: A cordless keyboard or a corded keyboard?

ME: *In a serious tone* A cordless, because then you could throw the keyboard at whoever you are trying to kill.

Us? Homicidal maniacs? NEVER!

Suicidal maniacs? Perhaps.

LUCAS: *tying mouse around his neck* Do you think anyone has ever committed suicide with their mouse?

I don't... but Mickey Mouse tried to commit suicide back in the 1930's cause Minnie dumped him. Messed up huh?

This is the inspiration

for the title.

Beware of vampire babies...

Also, beware of mis-reading signs. I thought that "Clean line socket machine" said "Clean, lean, socket machine".

Classroom photography - It's making a comeback!

DOUBLE ART

Holy shiz... the atmosphere in that room was terrible.

Kelly lightened the mood though....

KELLY: Why is it such a long walk from that classroom to this one?! *does a happily confused face*

Had a nervous breakdown over art too. I thought it was meant to be relaxing!!

Eventually finished art though!! 

Thank God! ^_^

Lauren xxx

I play electric triangle for the Suicidal pirates.

If Jack is a suicidal pirate...

He should NOT be holding a gun.

Naaah. "Suicidal pirates" is the name of me and Laura's death-core metal band. 

If you know Laura, then you'd laugh at this, because she's without a doubt the most optimistic person I have EVER met. She can't frown. Seriously. She tried to frown and she looked like a three year old attempting to scowl.

Imagine a female version of this.

That is Laura's frown. So forced! She's too much of a cutie to be pessimstic.

That's Laura... Just so you know what she

 looks like

So... imagine Laura in one of theses bands...

...

Actually, I hope she DOES get into Bring me the

horizon... Oli is pretty damn hot.

...

Why do I have such a thing for Emo boys?! 

STUDY

Attempted to study for my Psychology NAB (and failed to study for my psychology NAB) but I did see one of the best sights ever... 

 <= Fast forward to 3.40.

Chris was shuffling in Study.

Sorry... Chris was shuffling like a boss in Study.

He was really going for it, then a teacher walked past our room and had a little giggle to themselves. They must think that half of us are on drugs...

Wait... half of us are on drugs...

They must think we are all on drugs.

Then Chris started to talk gangsta.... it all went down hill from there.

MATHS

I've said it so many times, but I've only got three more blog posts to complain how terrible maths is because I've only got Thursday, Friday and Tuesday to go and then boom. Finished maths.

Forever.

It's an amazing feeling. However, I can't begin to describe how much I am going to miss Sophie, Calum and Dougal.

I'll see Dougal from time to time, he'll be in my English class next year, but I don't know if I'll be sitting next to him sooo *sad face*.

And Calum and Sophie are leaving for good in such a short amount of time! Makes me very upset...

DOUBLE PSYCHOLOGY

We were told that next week is the last week we will ever see Dod...

Do you think that sounds sinister? I think that sounds really sinister.

This is a live feed from a cupboard in

Aberdeen college. Poor Dod.

We had Sue though, and Sue is awesome. We were doing some "focused" revision (i.e. Sue told us what is in the test) on Memory:

SUE: What are the different types of influence?

DANIELLE: I can't remember...

How ironic, people seem to have difficulty remembering memory.


Speaking to Hannah and Emma again, they are so sweet. It really annoys me that we've only started chatting to them and now? Boom. End of term.


Why does that always happen?

SCOTT: I was in Hospital for appendicitis.

HANNAH: Why didn't you die?

Haha, as said, so sweet!


Spent the entire lunchtime talking to Sam. She's one cool kiddie. But our conversations always go wrong...

ME: Who needs men anyways?

SAM: We need penis to make babies.

ME: No. We need semen to make babies.

SAM: But we need p...

ME: How did we get onto this?! 

Also, we were talking about Euphemisms:

SAM: My Gran said: "I'm going to kick the bucket", so I was like "No Grandma, you're not going to die!". She then walked over to the bin and kicked it.

ME: I'm going to kick the bucket...

SAM: Go on.

Yeah. I went and kicked the bucket. I am a zombie. Fear me.

Or... go "Awww! at me.

Whichever.

Back to the "Suicidal Pirates".

SAM: Can I join?

ME: Sure.

SAM: What can I do?

ME: I don't know... what can you play? 

SAM: Only singing or triangle.

ME: ... ELECTRIC triangle?

Boo. Freaking. Yah.

FREE

Not much was done. Just chilled on the hill really. Good fun!

ART

We were meant to be revising for the writing exam... but instead?


Me and Kelly played the google auto-fill game.

Some of them are brilliant. Love this game!


Lauren xxx

Gregenga

Greg + Jenga = Gregenga! 

Or is it 4?

...

No wonder I failed maths.

STUDY

Speaking of failing, I had a NAB to revise for... which I didn't want to fail (did I have to add that in? Or did you know what I was getting at there?)

Sadly, not much revision was done.

Our study class is too funny.

Linzie, Andrew and Sara were playing jenga on Greg's head with books.

They managed to create quite a pile, before Greg moved his head and the entire pile came crashing down.

That's Gregenga for you.

Our study class is actually the classroom of one of the two lesbian English teachers.

She's got film posters all over the walls, all of very hot men. Or great films. Or penguins. Or hot penguins in films.

LINZIE: If this is Mrs Ashley's room... why are there pictures of men all over the walls?

SARA: Maybe she's bisexual?

Fair dues. 

 MATHS

I failed my second Maths prelim.

Arggghhh. 

He was being a douche about the whole situation anyways, reading aloud people's scores isn't respectful. Especially if they did not do well. Even worse is when this conversation goes down:

MR HUGHES: That's improvement though, it's okay, that's improvement.

MR SHAW: That's improvement? *Makes shocked face and leaves*

It makes me angry when that happens. People tried their best and they don't deserve those types of mean comments to bring them down.


The sooner I can get out of that department, the better.


NOTE: That does not mean I want to get away from people like Calum, Sophie, Dougal, Danielle and co. In fact, it's quite to opposite. But I cannot deal with another year of the hell that is maths!!


Mr Hughes did tell us however that we should go to the library to study...


Someone asked him if that's what he used to do.

MR HUGHES: Yes.

SOPHIE: Awwww! Can't you just imagine little Hughesy?

I can actually... In fact, I've got an old family photo of him as a toddler!

And later, as a child, with a killer bowl-cut, being forced to study and become a maths teacher...

"But I don't want to be a Maths teacher...

I WANNA BE AN ASTRONAUT!"

DOUBLE PSYCHOLOGY

NAB. Fooooook.

NAB re-sit. FOOOOK.

DOD: Tell me what a bar graph looks like... Lauren.

ME: *in my head* FOOOOK!

Trying to describe a bar graph is like trying to describe a colour. You CAN'T explain what it is unless you state what it is. *sigh*


The NAB wasn't too difficult, so it was okay.


And me, Sara and Lucas ended up speaking to two Torry girls that have been in our class since... last June? And we've never really sat down to talk to them properly.


Which, if you think about it, is kind of tragic! Because they are really adorably sweet! 

HANNAH: I don't like animals... I got chased around by a chicken once...

Believe it.

Awesome Psychology banter, as always.

Mukhtar was being a tour guide on the bus back from Torry, which, on reflection, was kind of weird... seen as he had just said:

"I never tell lies".

And here he is saying nothing but lies...

MUKHTAR: We're approaching one of the most beautiful areas of Aberdeen right now.

(He was referring to Kincorth, so blatant LIE)

MUKHTAR: You'll see lots of Dandelions.

(They were daffodils) 

MUKHTAR: The brown ones aren't dead, they are just hibernating.

(Flowers don't hibernate, bears do). 

MUKHTAR: And we are just approaching a private school, it's the best school in Aberdeen.

(He was speaking about Kincorth Academy, need I say any more?)

Lunch? Urggghhh...


The music on the radio was horrible!


Glee.


Glee.


Glee.

Rod Stewart.

Glee.

Aqua.


AQUA!?


Listen to this and tell me that this isn't a timeless classic...


Okay... timeless classic has pretty positive connotations, right? Then it is not a timeless classic. But this song just. wont. die.


Wow. After a quick google session, I discovered that Aqua are still alive.


And they are producing semi serious music?

Even Rebecca Black is shocked by your cheesiness.

That is a huge insult to Aqua, I am sure we can all agree.

DOUBLE ART

Rachel was blasting her tunes.


I know what you're thinking...


"That sounds pretty funky" or, if you come from this century, "That sounds pretty cool, what's the problem with that?"


The problem?


THIS is the problem.


The bigger problem? I actually like that song. Oh dear.


Mr McDonald then came in and TOTALLY crushed the party mood, because he revealed that the art folios are due in on the 6th of May. 


That's 2 weeks away.


And I haven't even finished them. EITHER of them...


FOOK!


Basically, everyone was just stressing out because of this.


Apart from Liam, cause he's is just one chilled out dude.


New nickname? The Icecube. I shall have to inform him that this is his new nickname...


He has been informed. 


Speaking of Liam, had an epic conversation with him and Aaron on the bus ride home. 


Well, I had an awesome conversation with the both of them in general, but that was on Thursday and now It's Saturday so I'm just going to give you excerpts.

LIAM: So who's side were you on: Team Paramore or Team Farro?

ME: Isn't it obvious?!

LIAM: Team Farro?

ME: NO! Team Paramore...

LIAM: WHY?!

ME: Josh is such a douche! He keeps bringing up the past, I wouldn't mind them if Josh just stopped!

LIAM: But the drummer was hot.

ME: Yeah... Zac was a cutie... But Hayley Williams?! I'd go gay for her. Wouldn't you go straight for her?

I'd love to tell you that having a gay friend isn't all it's cracked up to be, but I'd be lying. I loved Liam before I found out he was gay, but I love him even more now! ^_^


We were having a conversation about concerts, so obviously, I whapped oot the boob story


...


Whapped oot and boobs probably shouldn't be in the same sentence, should they?


Oh well. It's my blog and I'll write whatever I please!

What's that? The Power has went to my head?

Never

ME: Yeah, I was at a concert, and I got whacked in the face by someone's boobs. I mean, I just turned round to speak to Chloe and BOOM. Boobs in the face. 

LIAM: Lesbian!

ME: Is it really lesbian if I didn't choose for it to happen? It's more like rape.

LIAM: Or just a terrible invasion of personal space.

This is normal banter for me. It's what I hear on a daily basis. Perhaps that just helps emphasize the weird nature of my life.


What is NOT normal, or anticipated, or even socially acceptable?


Some random kid deciding to join in this conversation at this precise moment in time.

Creepy child alert!

RANDOM KID: I heard every thing you just said.

INNER MONOLOGUE: Damn. I told myself that I would speak quietly on buses after the time Michelle told me that I was like a foghorn on them.

ME: ... Yeaaaah.

RANDOM KID'S FRIEND: He turned around so quickly when you mentioned boobs.

I just wanted to shout out:

"YES! Some random girl slapped me across the face with her jugs! It was the least sexual thing I have ever witnessed. GET OVER IT AND DON'T BUMP INTO CONVERSATIONS AT AWKWARD TIMES!"

But, I didn't. 

RANDOM KID: Goodbye weird girl.

First: Weird girl? No. If that is going to be my superhero's name, then you can get lost! I want to be called Captain Flash. Flash as in flash photography. Not flash as in exposing self in public.

Whenever I think of flashers, I immediately think

of the Gremlins flasher scene.

I'm a movie geek, sue me.

Second: RESPECT YOUR ELDERS!!

RESPECT!!

Lauren xxx