And go to the library.
With Christie.
Pretty much everyone's reactions
to this.
I met Christie last August at the Paramore gig in Edinburgh. We talked online for quite a while before finally meeting in real life, but we've met up a few times since then and you can always count on weird conversations and unpredictable goings on to take place.
Anyway, we met up again yesterday and had a wee nosey around town, before realising that neither of us had ever been in Aberdeen's central library.
You see, it looks really bonnie from the outside, but when we went in?
It looked like a school library. Kind of run down and sad.
We shot a look at each-other that basically said "Yeah, we don't belong here."
We persisted regardless. We saw a meat book in the pet care section (if you're taking care of someone's pets and suddenly find yourself in need of a meat book, then I am calling the SSPCA on you straight away) and a man awkwardly sitting reading a book in the romance section.
I picked up two books in the language section and began reading them to Christie.
One was in Urdu.
The other in Chinese.
So I picked up the Chinese book (I was feeling ambitious!) and began to read:
BOOK: 認真採取這種語言,否則你會淹沒在鬆軟的白米飯。
I honestly didn't think it would be that hard.ME: ... ZHAAAAAA.
ME: I thought it would be English Chinese.
CHRISTIE: Is that even a thing?!
ME: Yeah, like... konichiwa!
CHRISTIE: Egg fried rice?
ME: Hahaha, what?! Is that your idea of Chinese?
CHRISTIE: Konichiwa is Japanese!
ME: Oh yeah. CULTURE.And that's the story of how Christie and I got banned from the library.
We also headed to Starbucks (what's new?) and got two tall Valencia Orange refreshas (that's what new).
CHRISTIE: This is basically diluting juice with an orange slice in it. And we paid a lot for that.
ME: That's the most depressing thing I've ever heard.A new place in Union Square opened too, called Carluccios. It seems busy, but my theory is that it's so busy because it's fun to say.
"Where are you going to lunch?"
"Carluccios."
"Oooh, fancy."Of course, like all of these Italian places, their menu is in Italian. It gives you an English description of what it actually is right below the title of the dish itself, but c'mon. Brits are lazy.
MENU: Bistecca di bu con patate.
ME: Patattie. That's potatoes.
MENU: 8oz ribeye steak, chargrilled to order with rosemary potatoes...
ME: HA!
MENU: Savoury bread tin.
ME: I know that one, it's a savoury bread tin. It's like I'm actually Italian.To end off the day, we headed to Union Terrace Gardens and chilled out on a bench with a ukulele.
I gave her 31 Oompa Loompa Christie memes...
If you're not aware of the Oompa Loompa Christie memes...
Christie sent me a picture of her dressed as an Oompa Loompa a couple of times, and I warned her if she wasn't careful, I'd turn her into a meme.
Yeah.
Long story short...
Where can I hand in my badge and my heartbeat, because after this meme monstrosity, I'm certain that I deserve neither.
Lauren xxx