Report any juggling mimes to security

This may be the oddest thing that you've ever heard... in your life.


But there are 22 states in American that have either legalised bestiality or have no laws against it. These states are:
Alaska, Arizona, Colorado, Connecticut, Florida, Hawaii, Iowa, Kentucky, Louisiana, Missouri, Nebraska, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, Ohio, Oregon, South Dakota, Texas (nae doubt), Vermont, Washington and West Virginia

No...

Not the guinea pig!

I don't know why someone would look at a dog, a cat, a horse or any other kind of animal, be it domestic or wild and say "I'll be having some of that! MEEEEE-OWWWW!"


...


Okay, I don't know why someone would make cat noises when they are sexually excited, regardless of whether or not it's an animal or a human. 


I mean, cats lick themselves and poop in the garden, they are hardly the sexiest creature in the animal kingdom, are they?

My eyes! They burn.

I'm behind on blogging, once again, mainly due to the fact that I haven't been in the mood for writing recently.


Me and Ashleigh headed down to Glasgow on Saturday, to see All Time Low and (more specifically) their support band, We Are The In Crowd.


So at 10.30, we headed tentatively down to the bus station to get on the bus that was headed for Glasgow... 


Only, we didn't know where it was, when we were supposed to get off and who we were meant to see about answering any of these questions.


We got on the one that said 'Glasgow' and crossed our fingers, hoping that we didn't end up stuck down in Dundee...

ASHLEIGH: We're going to end up in Turkey.

 Megabus run the charity "A turkey isn't just for Chirstmas" campaign,

raising money to send Turkey's to Turkey for a Summer holiday to calm

their nerves before the dreaded F-E-S-T-I-V-E period...

I was hoping that they couldn't spell festive...

Dammit.

Ashleigh checked us onto the megabus on her iPod, well...

ASHLEIGH: *typing* Daaa.... megabooooooose.

Ashleigh's Mum then commented on her check-in, telling us to be careful.

ASHLEIGH: See? My Mum knows that we're going to be murdered and raped in Dundee.

ME: Plan of action for today, don't get raped. Don't get murdered.

Of course, me and Ashleigh's conversations get a little... well... weird? 


And this bus journey was no exception.

ME: Pigs orgasm for thirty minutes.

ASHLEIGH: What?!

ME: Yeah... it's really sad that someone actually had to time that.

Stop watches at the ready lads...

Oh yeaaaaah.

Which then spun the conversation about bestiality.  

ASHLEIGH: It's legal in eighteen states.

ME: I bet one of them is Texas...

We were so lucky that no-one from Texas was on that bus! 


But look at the list, Texas was one of the ones that legalised it!

I find it odd that you can marry your cousin or have sex with a pig there, but you can't marry someone of the same sex as you... 


Oh Texas. You crazy ass state.


A ridiculous amount of crazy convos were had on the megabus. Three whole hours worth.


We had a few normal ones too however:

ASHLEIGH: How long have you been driving then?

ME: Oh, since June!

ASHLEIGH: Ooh, have you reversed yet? 

*I laugh, then realise that she's being deadly serious*

ME: I've been driving since June.

ASHLEIGH: Is that a yes then? 

Yes... yes it is.


We then spent about an hour or two in town, wondering about the streets, looking for the venue and the tram station.


We also went to Burger King, where we saw the adorable sight of a little boy wandering up to the counter by himself and asking:

LITTLE BOY: Can I get another one?

He was holding a Theodore chipmunk in his hand. Bless him. 


I don't understand why he didn't like Theodore... he's the cutest. Look at him!

Awww!

We both had a sweet chilli chicken wrap, it was yummy, but I was angry because I bit into it and a bit of chicken fell out. I picked it off the table and threw it onto the tray, before getting accused of "burying the chicken".


We went into the Glasgow HMV following that, where Ashleigh VERY nearly deafened me with a pair of beats headphones. I had them on my head and she put them on... on full.


If you put a pair of beats on and put them on full blast, you won't just lose your hearing, you'll lose your ears too.


So I was very lucky and managed to snatch them just before they adjusted to the full volume.


After that, it was off to the tram station which took us... about ten minutes to find when we actually got out onto the street.


It's literally right in front of you as you walk down the high-street.


It's underground, so we used the escalator to get downstairs, I realised that there were several random bumps on the metal parts directly beside either sides of the escalator.

ME: How many idiots do you think tried to slide their way down there before they put in those 'speed bumps'?

My guess is seven.

For only £1.20 each, we got a tram ticket that took us across the city, amazing deal, seen as first bus is more expensive, less reliable, takes longer and isn't as regular.

I'm onto you, corporate scum.

When we ran downstairs, we were just in time... to hear the tram racing off in the opposite direction.


So we took the next four minutes to take in our surroundings, including the ominous screens that read "Report any suspicious behavior".

ASHLEIGH: Report any suspicious behavior... like a bomb?

ME: No... they mean report any mimes juggling ba... what do you think? 

The tram was an interesting experience, it took literally two minutes, and at each stop, the tram only waited at the station for about ten to fifteen seconds at the most...


I felt like a kid getting on a double decker bus for the first time, full of wonder.


When we finally got to the venue (after getting over the initial shock of the tram), we were shocked by just how long the queue was.


They were lining up along the venue's front wall... and around the corner, along the side of the venue... and past the tour buses' parking area.


This wasn't at 6.30pm either... this was at 4pm. Three hours before the crowd were even due to get in.


It wasn't a terrible wait. It was really damn cold though, I was fine because I had my big cosy jacket on, but Ashleigh only had a hoodie cardigan thing on, and she didn't even wear socks!!

My feet were freezing, and I had socks and converse on.

There were three or four fan-girls behind us, screaming their head off because some dude walked out of the back-stage of the venue. We took it to be someone from the Maine. We weren't bothered. Neither of us could even name you one of their songs, let alone one of the members. 


They kept screaming though, causing Ashleigh to say:

ASHLEIGH: If they don't shut up, I'm going to take that rug, cut it up into pieces and shove a piece down each of their throats. And with the remaining part? I will keep me feet cosy.

The venue was lovely when we got in... the security were not.


We got our bags checked by this woman first, who told me:

WOMAN: They aren't letting big bags into the venue, better check yours into the coat-room.

Fair enough. So I went to find the coat-room, when this black dude started shouting:

DUDE: HOLD IT! Wait until I check your bag! 

He was excessively thorough with his checks... he was a douche.


I couldn't find the coat-room, so I took it with me anyways. Nae bother. 


I'll be posting a review of the gig sometime later on today, so bear with me!


Lauren xxx

Meryl Streep is silently judging me

This is the most terrifying picture I have ever 

uploaded to this blog...

PSE

The definition of patronisation:

"Telling a group of 17/18 year olds how to make notes"

The PSE department are definitely running out of ideas.


They could discuss anything personal or socially relate-able. But do they?


No. They talk about note-making.


Hurrah.

STEPHANIE: Urgh, I hope it isn't a talk on... walking to school or something.

It would have probably been more useful.

Lindsay (the person who came in to talk to us) had a cute hair-cut, so I whispered to Sara:

ME: I like her hair!

SARA: I like her height. 

She wasn't small... she was fun-sized.

We didn't eat her though... 

There just wasn't enough of her to pass around.

...

Clearly I'm joking. We're not cannibals, believe it or not.

She then got us to do this utterly pointless game where Sara had to write a sentence, which I would represent with a drawing. Linzie would then write a sentence involving this picture, and then Stephanie would draw a picture based on her sentence. 

This happened about fifty times.

Sara (who does Advanced Higher English) came up with the sentence:

"It was sunny outside, beside the tree"

Sara likes trees, she writes about them all the time.

WAH!
Just for you Sara.

Then me (who does Advanced Higher art) attempted to draw a picture to visually represent Sara's sentence...

The drawing ended up looking like a crappier version of this:

Should I quit Advanced Higher art now or later?

MATHS

Liam turned up to Maths today, which is a rare occasion. He doesn't usually come in on a Wednesday and he never turns up on a Friday... so, being the douche that he is, Hughes comes into our class and begins winding him up:

MR HUGHES: Liam, did you spin a wheel to decide your hair colour? *imitates spinning wheel* It's blue today!

Hilarious.

MR HUGHES: *starts humming the smurfs theme-song* Aye, Papa Smurf!

MR SHAW: ... I don't know the names of any of the other smurfs. 

Smurfette, Hefty smurf, Brainy smurf, Cobbler smurf, Jokey smurf... Basically put any adjective in front of the word smurf.

I know my smurf characters.

Mr Shaw basically spent half of the period blaming Laura and Abie for farting. Toilet humor... classic!

FREES

Couldn't be happier, Kristina and Kelly came to visit me and Sara in Starbucks today, and it was the first time in 2012 that I heard Joey's sexy voice saying:

"Wheeped cream?"

Call me Winston Churchill because I

say "Oh yeeeesss."

SARA: I wish he knew my order!

ME: But you get different things!

SARA: I usually get a mocha! 

I got a vanilla spice latte today... oh my. So ridiculously yummy.


Kelly and Kristina came in after that, and after we gave them massive cuddles, we were on our way to a sidesplitting hilarious chat.

Yo' Bieber... your fans need professional help

I can't tell you who's reaction was funnier, Kelly's or Sara's. 


Sara was drinking her coffee when all of a sudden she made a terrified face that looked as though she was going to vomit whilst crying... complex emotions.

Kelly just read it, took three seconds and then her eyes widened to about twice their normal size.


We were talking more about this 'Peanut Bieber sandwich' (High-five for the subtle insinuation about Bieber's penis size, awwoooo!) and then all of a sudden, a bus pulled up outside starbucks, with this picture on it:

ME: ... *staring at picture* Meryl Streep is silently judging me.

Look, Meryl... I didn't write the story about the Peanut Bieber sandwich! I was just commenting on it...


Meryl Streep didn't believe me though. She kept appearing, and the amazing thing was, it was always as we were in the process of making a sexual reference...

Maybe we just have incredibly dirty minds...

Or maybe I need to shave off this mustache.

KELLY: *talking about University campus* I'd really like to go in and tickle their water-fountains.

ME: *pauses* Fancy doing it next week?

KELLY: Yeah!

ME: You can just imagine some University man running after and pancaking us! *pretending to cry* "I only wanted to tickle your fountain!"

I can't even remember half of the stuff we were talking about... all I remember is that I was genuinely crying with laughter, which is an achievement when you were feeling incapable of crying with either laughter or tears less than a few hours previously. What can I say, I have the most amazing friends.


Before they left, we had this conversation:

KRISTINA: We should rehearse the beach party!

ME:Where?

KRISTINA: The beach... Where else?

Felt like such an idiot!

ENGLISH

Walked through the door without Dougal, the first thing we were asked is:

CLASS: *gasps* Where's Dougal?

If he isn't with Sara, then he's not on this earth anymore.

That seems to be what everyone suggests! They just can't comprehend Sara and Dougal not spending every single second of the day together, just because they work and go to class together!


It's as if they are joined at the hip...


They aren't... Clearly. That would be awkward on so many levels.


Mrs Reid was going on a wee bit of a rant today:

MRS REID: Had my first 'Mum tantrum' not too long ago... My daughter came home from nursery and she had done something wrong, so I was giving her into trouble when she turned around and said "soz". *pulls a face of disgust* She's only two, and it's about that age that people begin to learn how to speak... I knew that she picked it up at the nursery so I marched in there and I said "I'd like it if my Daughter learned how to speak proper English before she learns text speak." 

TOM: What do you think about the word 'LOL'?

MRS REID: Urgh! Why would you say that?! It's an action, don't say "laughing out loud" if you're not laughing out loud! 

The rants didn't stop there... 


Background information: Our class has begged Struthers to let us go to the ballet to see 'A Streetcar named Desire' later on this year. 

MRS REID: A ballet version of 'A Streetcar named Desire'... what? It'll just be people on stage dancing around, without any words! 

TOM: I thought that they dance around and then sing like *deep voice* "He threw the meat at meeeee!" 

ME: ... That's opera.

TOM: Oh yeah! 

I'm not sure which one is more pretentious to be honest, opera or ballet.


Mrs Reid then went on to tell us about an unforgettable version of 'Romeo and Juliet'...

MRS REID: It was put on by the Royal Shakespeare company, and it was the weirdest thing I've ever seen in my life.... Everyone was aliens, and there was a big globe on the stage, which they would do acrobatics on, which was the only good thing about the first act... but that was nothing compared to the second act... The character of the apothecary was a sock puppet which appeared from the orchestra pit... And it took about twenty minutes to die, I was close to climbing on stage and killing it myself!

From possessed sock puppets to New Years resolutions (logical conversational blend)

TOM: Do you have any New Year's resolutions?

MRS REID: To get back into professional swimming.

JORDAN: Do you have a favourite kind of stroke?

MRS REID: *after laughing for a minute* I quite like the breast stroke.

TOM: *trying to high-five Jordan* Breast-stroke!

We then had a fire alarm, which saw us shoved beside the statue, segregated from the rest of the school.

LADY: Have you all signed your name somewhere?

ME: Yup. On the statue. "Lauren waz ere". Because I do Advanced Higher English.

MIKEY: Mine's has a line through the 'z'.

ME: Ooooh, hardcore! 

Then the question of the day cropped up...

ME: If your school was on fire and you had a bag of marshmallows, would you roast them on your burning school?

Surprisingly(!), everyone said yes. 


Struthers walked past us at the bus stop as we were headed home, Dougal joked that Sara's hair got an erection because of this (she tied it up into a bobble on top of her head)

SARA: I have ladies hair gel at home! You just rub it and it goes hard.

Me and Dougal share a knowing glance at this moment. Somehow, it got onto neutering cats.

SARA: I'll take it in and show you!

ME: *pretending to put a cat on the table* This is one I made earlier! 

I swear to God, it was around this time that a bus with Meryl Streep's face on it pulled up on the opposite side of the road...

Silent judgment. It feels so good.

Lauren xxx

Human trafficking awareness day.

If you were sitting in your house, watching TV, and there was a snowstorm in a city close to your own, abandoned cars piling up on the side of the road like rotting leaves in autumn... would you be shocked at just how bad the traffic was? Would you even care? 


What about if you were sitting in your house, watching TV, and in your town, a child was being groomed by the lucrative human trafficking industry, being prepared for years of sexual exploitation... would you be shocked at just how bad that traffic was? Would you even care?


The truth of the matter is, despite slavery being abolished decades ago, child sex slavery is still a huge problem. It is estimated that every single minute, of every single day, two children are trafficked for sexual exploitation. These two children may be physically forced into the commercial sexual exploitation industry, they might be manipulated or deceived or their families may be threatened if their child does not go with the disgusting 'human beings' (I use that term lightly) that wish to take them from their childhood and force them to live in a nightmare world, in which they will never be able to wake up from.


$28 billion is generated from the sickening act. This doesn't just happen in developing countries. This happens in the United Kingdom. This happens in the United States. This happens all over the world and it is happening... right. Now.


There's people out there who are trying to help the victims of this terrible crime and they are also attempting to educate the general public about a very serious issue that is completely disregarded as being important or worthy of our time or attention. Some even attempt to convince themselves that it isn't happening.


But it is happening. And if we don't acknowledge it? Then it will continue to happen. Maybe the issue won't be resolved in the decade... or this century. Maybe we won't live long enough to see it become resolved, but we can live long enough to see the sexual exploitation industry shrink in size and we can live long enough to see the children who are exploited in such a cruel manner get the love and care they not only deserve, but need. 


But, if we want to see that happen, we've got to act. And we've got to act now.


Even if you just get one person to have a look at Love 146's website and get them to pass it on to one person, you'll be making a huge difference.


Without education, no problem exists within our minds nor hearts... 


Without education, the same problem that we insist does not exist will continue to grow. 


Without education, we are risking the lives, welfare and mental well-being of an entire generation.


Child sex slavery exists, and we won't stand for it.


Pass it on.

Robert Burns - 1900 to 2200

Sometimes, I worry greatly about my friends and their stupidity.

Don't get me wrong, they are extremely intelligent, but some of the things they come out with, and some of the things they do? Well...

... They worry me.

Day started off just perfectly. All of our bus (the majority of them were school kids) were sitting down, patiently waiting for our stop. What usually happens, is:

• a) someone stands up and everyone else follows suit, resulting in the bus driver to use his initiative and stop the bus at the next bus stop
• b) someone presses the bell, indicating that someone wants to get off, resulting in the bus driver stopping the bus at the next bus stop
• c) someone is waiting to get on at the next bus stop,  resulting in the bus driver stopping the bus at the next bus stop

Yeah... none of them happened today, resulting in the bus driver driving past the next bus stop.

This is why life would be much simpler if bus-drivers could read your mind.

Actually...

Scrap that idea.

RECEPTION DUTY

I love Tuesday's, if only for this reason alone. Getting to spend nearly an hour of the morning with Abie really brightens up my day.

I remember crying with laughter and wiping my tears on my copy of "Sweet Bird Of Youth". Rubbish play, sorry Williams!

Laura and Lauren came round, putting up posters for a Burns supper.

ABIE: Who's holding it?

LAURA: Don't know.

ABIE: Oh... That's good(!) Put a poster over there! *points to the front door* 

*Lauren wonders over to front door and places the poster, information pointing inwards*

ABIE: No! The other way!

*Lauren looks skeptical*

LAUREN: Yeah, 'cause that looks good! *wanders off*

ABIE: *looks offended* Well, you didn't have to take my advice!

ME: Nope! And that is a good idea as well, going to get a lot of publicity.

ABIE: Yeah! They are going to get all of the *her mouth freezes, as though she's trying to say something beginning with P, but failing miserably. This lasts for ten seconds or so before we both burst into fits of laughter* 

We don't even realise what we're laughing at ourselves most of the time. 

FREE

Megan took me along to see Mrs McDonald, you know, for the jaunt. 


She noticed the Burns supper poster and started reading it curiously:

MEGAN: Who's doing it?

ME: No-one knows... note even Laura and Lauren knew, and they were the ones hanging it up! 

MEGAN: *reads* 1900 to 2200... he lived for a bloody long time!

ME: *confused* 1900 to 2... That's the time you idiot! 

Now celebrating his 112th Birthday!

Megan did not like the fact that these posters made a fool of her...

ME: What are you going to do, write on the poster?

...


You guessed it.


We spent the next ten minutes of our life running around school, adding "7pm to 10pm" to every single poster we could find.


What we both find hilarious was the fact that there was no posters on the third floor... Laura and Lauren were too lazy to make their way up there!

You can just imagine them preparing for 

the climb...

We went back to the hotbar after that treck, to say Happy Birthday to Andrew, who got into trouble.

ZOE: You kept that quiet!

ME: What was he supposed to do, run around school screaming "IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!!!"

Someone asked if he was now 18, Andrew shook his head

ANDREW: Nope, just 17.

TABLE: Awwww.

ME: Are you going to be learning to drive?

ANDREW: Once my driving instructor is out of hospital!

ME: Oh... I hope it wasn't any of his students that put him in there!

ANDREW: No.. not unless he's in there because of Dougal. Stress maybe? 

ART

Terrible flashbacks to the weeks on end that I was editing the same damn pictures background.

MEGAN: Where are you going?

ME: Down to the end room to put these pictures onto the computer...

ZOE, MEGAN AND SARA: *groan* Please say you're not going to be editing them!

Yeah, I'm editing them again... but only removing the background! So it isn't that difficult.

Zoe was given a terrifying album artwork by Mr McDonald. It was of  a demon thing holding a woman in his hand.

Megan wonders over and gives the priceless commentary of:

MEGAN: Oh, he would destroy her! 

They were talking about wedgies as well, and how awkward it is when you are picking a wedgie and someone stands behind you whist you do it...


I've never experienced this problem personally, but hey ho, there's a first time for everything.

ENGLISH

Our English teacher revealed that she has had a past addiction...


Drugs? Drink? Not exactly...

STRUTHERS: You know the game bejeweled? I went through a period where I became quite obsessed with it... At the weekend, I ended up playing it for two hours straight. I went to sleep and when I closed my eyes, all I could see were these moving blocks. *our class laughs* Oh, it gets worse! My bathroom has these multi-coloured tiles, so I was having a bath and I was *mimes* moving these tiles around trying to get a hyper-cube. Yeah... I got someone else to delete that game off of my phone after that.

JORDAN: Someone else? Was it that bad? 

*Ms Struthers laughs and smiles knowingly... It was that bad.* 

That was basically the only happy moment in English... We were analysing Plath's poems (Enough to make you depressed for the rest of eternity) and we had just began to get into the darker stuff. 


And they don't get much darker than 'Poppies in July'

"Little poppies, little hell flames,Do you do no harm?

You flicker. I cannot touch you.I put my hands among the flames. Nothing burns

And it exhausts me to watch youFlickering like that, wrinkly and clear red, like the skin of a mouth.

A mouth just bloodied.Little bloody skirts!

There are fumes I cannot touch.Where are your opiates, your nauseous capsules?

If I could bleed, or sleep! If my mouth could marry a hurt like that!

Or your liquors seep to me, in this glass capsule,Dulling and stilling.

But colorless. Colorless."

Not going to lie, it depressed me.


It's basically about feeling numb and harming yourself in order to feel... well... something. In addition to the self-harm, Plath is also talking about numbing emotional pain through substance abuse. But the temporary solutions separate Plath from her ability to write and to feel alive... 


Cheery... right?


It made me feel uncomfortable. I think it's because I can relate to it, on some sick level. 


Don't worry, I'm not going to stick my head in an oven (ours is electric anyway) anytime soon.


The lyrics "You say you're really hurting, at least you're feeling something" springs to mind.


Lauren xxx

Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers

I saw this movie a long time ago and couldn't remember much about it but then I guess that was because of how bad it was, disjointed story that made little sense and directed by someone who I guess was trying to visually interesting but instead only managed to be annoying, little style and less substance.

Outlander

This was a blind buy for me, I hadn't heard much about the movie beyond it's basic concept but when I saw the Blu-ray on sale I thought I'd take a punt and I picked it up, what a good move that turned out to be because the movie far exceeded my expectations and I really enjoyed it.

The definition of beauty

What is your definition of beautiful?


Is it a slim waist? Curvy hips? A big bust? Expressive eyes? A perfect smile? A tanned complexion? 


Now... pause and ask yourself this question:


Is that truly your definition of beautiful?


It's no secret, the media have been cramming images of tall, slim women with perfect skin for decades. And slowly, these archetypes of 'beauty' have been getting thinner...

“Only eight percent of an ad's message is received by the conscious mind; the rest is worked and reworked deep within the recesses of the brain, where a product's positioning and repositioning takes shape.” - Rance Crain

It's terrifying to think that adverts have such an effect on us. 

Through the near constant manipulation that the media have subjected us to over the past hundred years or so, they have essentially took our personal views, as well as the views of our society, in regards to beauty's definition and turned it on its head completely. Plumpness was once a signal of wealth, those who were poor would be very skinny due to not being able to afford a sufficient amount of food to suitably sustain them through their tough day's work in fields. Now? Toned, skinny women are seen as wealthy because they can afford to buy nutritional food and hire a personal trainer, whereas poorer members of society are typically chubbier due to the necessity of buying cheap, unhealthy food in order to survive. Make-up was once a signal of a prostitute or an actress, both professions sneered at equally. Now? The make-up industry is a billion dollar industry and many women refuse to go out of the house without at least one layer of make-up. 


And is it any wonder? The average American is exposed to over 3,000 adverts a day. That's 3,000 different companies attempting to sell you a lifestyle, a look, a culture. What you see is some perfume company trying to make you smell gorgeous. But deeper down, beneath the surface, you register a company that will make you sexier, that will make you more desirable. In reality, they have just hired an impossibly beautiful model, so you buy the perfume so you have one thing in common with her. You may not look the same, but hey, at least you smell like her, right?


I'm just really annoyed by the lack of sensitivity and concern the media (and those involved with it) have when it comes to serious issues such as eating disorders and body image. 


I never thought I'd have to mention their name in a bad-light, but Disney isn't exactly being a role model.

Keep in mind that one of its stars, Demi Lovato

left their hit show 'Sonny With A Chance' to

battle her eating disorder.

Yes. This is the spin off from her show...

That's a new low.

There was once a time when Disney spoke out against meaningful issues in its children's programming. 'Lizzie McGuire' had an episode dedicated to eating disorders. 'That's So Raven' had an episode dedicated to racism and they also had one dedicated to showing girls that beauty comes in all different shapes and sizes. 'The Proud Family' taught kids how to accept others regardless of religion or ethnic background... but now? The actresses are all stick thin and their character's aim only to date boys. The script-writers sink so low as to make jokes about issues such as eating disorders and they've become generic and utterly meaningless.


And catwalks? Shows such as 'The Fashion Police'? Fashion magazines? They are all just as bad as each-other. No-one will batter an eyelid when someone criticises a celebrities fashion taste or figure, they are a celebrity after all, the public have a right to mock or ridicule them, seen as they are public property(!) But by making this sort of ridicule the norm, we are subconsciously teaching generations of kids that a good fashion sense is a conformist fashion sense. That we are at risk of getting mocked if we stray from what is popular or 'fashionable' at the present moment in time, and that we in turn are allowed, or even expected, to mock those who stray from the flock...


I could go on all night about my contempt for the media when it comes to eating disorders and body images, but I'll stop myself there.


I'll end on this note, to any of you who may have an eating disorder, or if you're just prone to feeling self-conscious about yourself from time to time:


There's a lot of people out there trying to tell you that you need to be a certain weight, height or proportion to be considered beautiful, but don't listen to them, because they are clueless.


You are beautiful, just the way you are. Your uniqueness is what makes you compelling and what makes you one of a kind. Hold onto that with dear life, advertising companies, vain celebrities and confused members of society will try to rob you of your personality and your soul, they'll try to mould you into something less amazing... something that isn't you. Resist their attempts to do this and you'll become (or rather, remain) the most beautiful person the world has ever seen.